Bev's Tips for a Better Work Life

Tips for a more rewarding and resilient career

For almost 20 years, Bev has been coaching
professionals to thrive at work, navigate
transitions and grow as leaders.

career success

How to be happy at work

Posted by Beverly Jones on

How three basics of happiness

promote workplace engagement.

The most recent of bestselling author Dan Buettner’s insightful “Blue Zone” books shares lessons from healthy and thriving people around the world. In “The Blue Zones of Happiness,” Buettner summarizes a broad sweep of research and recommends ways for all of us to achieve greater well-being.

According to Buettner, the latest studies suggest that by cultivating three elements of happiness, you can achieve greater fulfillment. He says you need:

  • Purpose, which means you find opportunities in your daily life to use your gifts and talents in pursuit of meaningful goals;
  • Pride, meaning that your jobs and activities give you a sense of accomplishment, and;
  • Pleasure, including fun, awe and joy – particularly from socializing for hours every day.

I agree with Buettner’s wise advise about building a rewarding life. And I was intrigued by his three-part formula, because I have been using a similar framework when coaching clients around issues related to happiness at work.

“Engaged employees” tend to be relatively happy and committed to their work. And these upbeat workers are likely to achieve more than their negative, disgruntled peers. Because research underscores the link between attitude and job performance, organizational leaders often feel pressured to find new ways to promote “employee engagement.”

There’s no single, easy technique leaders can use to generate enthusiasm. But whether you want to inspire your team or yourself, a starting point is to reflect upon the things that do help you feel happy while you’re at work.

When coaching clients, one way I get at these issues is by exploring what I call the “Engagement Triangle.” Often, workplace happiness is the result of managing three basic factors. You’ll feel more jazzed about your job when you have:

  1. Purpose. It’s easier to love your job if you’re working for something that matters more than just a paycheck.
  • Sometimes your work has meaning because you support the vision or values of the organization. Among successful companies known for their core values, Zappos says it will “create fun and a little weirdness.” At Salesforce.com, leaders say nothing is more important than trust. And Google says, “We believe everyone deserves the chance to learn, succeed, and be heard.”
  • Your team’s values can be motivating even when they are unstated. People share a sense of purpose in groups that offer superior service or a highly valued product.
  • Even a tedious job can feel rewarding if you have a good reason for working so hard, like supporting your family or laying groundwork for the next phase of your career.
  1. People. Your job satisfaction is influenced by your colleagues, by your broader circle of clients and professional contacts, and by the other people you bump into throughout your career.
  • According to Gallup research, having friends at work is a key to employee retention. And if you have close friends at work you’re likely to be happier than your colleagues, more productive and better at engaging customers.
  • Many studies confirm that we accomplish more in an environment where coworkers treat each other with respect, gratitude, trust and integrity. Studies suggest that your office culture is more likely to promote success if people treat each other like friends.
  • In “The Culture Code,” bestselling author Daniel Coyle argues convincingly that highly successful groups tend to develop a culture that feels much like a family. He says that in strong teams people have a sense of belonging, communicate constantly and feel safe around one another.
  • If you work alone, or in an environment doesn’t feel friendly, it may be time to broaden your professional network, and explore activities that allow you to interact with simpatico folks.
  1. Performance. You’ll probably love your job if you find enjoyment in your tasks, if you continue to build expertise, and if you frequently feel a sense of accomplishment.
  • Buettner suggests that time can move quickly in the best jobs because “your goal is clear, the task is challenging and you’re getting immediate feedback on how you’re doing.”
  • When work starts to feel dull, a good way to find new energy is to learn something new. The sense of accomplishment that comes from acquiring a fresh skill or deeper knowledge may jumpstart your next upward spiral.
  • Workers with autonomy tend to be happier and more productive than their micromanaged peers. If you are the team leader, be specific and consistent about goals, and let folks on the ground decide how to reach them. If you’re the one feeling micromanaged, focus on the decisions that you can control, and gain greater satisfaction from repetitive tasks by continuing to find ways to improve each process.
  • The way you perform your tasks helps you to support other people, contribute to the shared vision, and define your role within a group.

Do you want to have a bit more energy tomorrow morning? Try starting your day by writing answers to these three questions:

  1. What core value will I keep in mind during my work today?
  2. Who will I remember to appreciate in the course of the workday?
  3. What task will I perform with special attention?

How to succeed by treating everybody like a Somebody

Posted by Beverly Jones on

Here’s a simple rule for success:

Treat everyone like they matter

The Foster Harris House is a lovely little Inn and restaurant in the tiny, historic town of Washington, Virginia. For the new owner, Klaus Peters, running the House is a post-retirement labor of love.

Innkeeper Klaus Peters, with Executive Chef Dawn Sieber, and Director of Operations Zoe Sieber.

Klaus is a distinguished gray-haired man with a bit of an accent and a beaming smile. Before his “boring” short-lived retirement, Klaus enjoyed a long and successful career managing some of the country’s top hotels, like the Watergate and The Fairfax at Embassy Row, both in Washington DC.

But Klaus started his career in hospitality at the bottom, as a 14-year-old kitchen apprentice. His German father had lost his job and money during World War II, so in the late 1950’s young Klaus had to help support the family. Eventually he worked his way up to a waiter’s job in Paris, and at age 18 he answered an ad to become a waiter at a Texas hotel.

Klaus told me that in those days in Europe, if you were a German at the low end of a hierarchy, you were treated like a non-entity. He recently wrote in a LinkedIn post, “In 1964, I arrived in Houston as a ‘Nobody’ server, at the Hotel America … making $3.50 a day plus tips…I had low self-esteem and thus became arrogant to cover up my insecurities. I don’t believe that I was liked by too many people.”

But then a miracle happened. He was given the opportunity to serve dinner to the hotel manager, Earl Duffy, and his guests.

“Just imagine, Mr. Duffy greeted me by name and introduced me to his guests and his guests to me,” Klaus wrote.

“WOW, this had never happened to me before. Mr. Duffy respected me and treated me like an equal. To him and his wife, I was a “Somebody”. The way he made me feel, totally changed my personality and the way I would treat subordinates in the future,” he said.

Klaus’ life was transformed by the realization that you can shift another person’s sense of self, and behavior, by focusing on them and treating them with respect. So Klaus adopted the rule, “treat everybody like a Somebody.” And by the time he was 26 he was managing a Florida resort, and greatly enjoying a career built around making other people happy.

Klaus understands that leadership is not as simple as respecting each team member. Not only must you motivate your colleagues, but you must share the vision and give them the resources they need. But “treat everybody like a Somebody” is a mantra that can take you a long way, in your career as well as the rest of your life. Here are some reasons the practice is so powerful:

  • Expressing gratitude makes you both feel better. Research makes clear that when you experience a feeling of gratitude your stress goes down and you become more optimistic. And expressing gratitude is even more powerful than simply feeling grateful. So when you treat a person “like a Somebody” by thanking them, and you mean it, you boost your happiness as well as theirs.
  • Modeling civility creates a productive culture. When workers routinely experience rude or demeaning behavior, their stress can skyrocket and the level of their performance may plummet. They are likely to spend less time at work, they may lose their creativity and commitment to the mission, and they could take out frustrations on customers. But leaders who model civility, treating every team member “as a Somebody,” can dramatically change the culture. When they approach everyone with respect, listen intently, and smile often, they set a tone that supports achievement.
  • Noticing people makes them feel better. In our busy society, folks may have little time or opportunity for real conversation, they may feel unseen and unheard, and loneliness is rampant, even in crowded workplaces. People who feel invisible and marginalized are not likely to do their best work, or appreciate the efforts of others. But those who feel valued often want to help. I have watched the way Klaus charms people by providing them his full attention. He tells his inn guests, “we’re in the business of making you feel good.” And part of the way he accomplishes that is by making each individual feel as though they matter.
  • Paying attention helps you improve. Offering attention to other people is not effective if you are just going through the motions. Treating a person like they count requires that you truly listen to what they say, and you notice what they may need. That careful observation can help you spot problems, improve processes and policies, and at the same time build your expertise.

Klaus says he loves his new life at the Foster Harris House, partly because he loves the hospitality business. During his retirement years he missed the engagement with guests and the sense of making a difference. Beyond that he loves to deliver comfort and warmth and a top quality experience, in a small, friendly community where he can get to know everybody. For him, making everybody feel like a Somebody “is an absolute pleasure.”

Quit saying “If only”

Posted by Beverly Jones on

 Two plaintive little words

can keep holding you back.

“If only I’d done more networking, I’d be able to find a new job.”

“If only they’d stop bothering me with trivial meetings, I could finish this project.”

“If only I’d gotten that promotion, I wouldn’t hate this company.”

“If only I were younger, I bet they’d listen.”

One of the more self-destructive phrases to use in discussing your work life is “if only.” And yet we hear it all the time, and maybe even say it ourselves.

These two words might simply mean that if we had done one thing we could have avoided big problems down the road. At times the assessment can be accurate, like if you find yourself saying, “If only I had studied I probably would have been a better student.”

But frequently the phrase is weighted with mournful meaning that goes far beyond what the words seem to say. “If only” can suggest that you are in despair about the past and are dissatisfied with the present. People who say “if only” seem to be throwing up their hands, casting blame for the current situation and declining responsibility for creating change.

“If only” resonates with woulda, coulda, shoulda. It feels like the speaker is bogged down in a yesterday that can’t be changed. Or is immersed in a today that is out of control, when what would be helpful is taking steps toward a better tomorrow.

Maybe you occasionally say “if only” out loud when you’re at work. Or perhaps it’s a silent refrain that pops into your head when you’re worrying in the middle of the night, making you to feel even more sorry for yourself.
You’ll be a happier, more productive person if you get over the “if only” habit. Start here:

  • Don’t use it as an excuse. You’ll sound like you’re not coping if you tell your boss or client, “If only we had more time we could do a better job.” Reword your sentence to suggest that you are aware of the problem and are taking action: “Here’s our plan to manage the time pressure.”
  • Don’t use it to throw blame on someone else. You may come across as a nag and undercut your goals if you say, “if only you could get to the office on time, we might get more done.” Instead, propose an action plan: “Let’s set the schedule so we can be sure to finish before the deadline.”
  • Don’t use it to avoid tough facts. It’s normal to wish that things were better, and to think, “if only I were smarter/thinner/younger/richer.” But you can actually make things better once you accept that you are what you are, or embrace the reality that the situation is what it is. When you hear the “if only” lament bubbling up, ask yourself: “What can I do today to start moving in a new direction?”
  • Refocus on the future: Saying “if only” can be a sign that you’re getting stuck in the past. If that sounds like you, then learn to resist the temptation to wallow in the same old set of problems.   First, think of a more useful phrase, like: “what do I do next?” Any time you feel “if only” on the tip of your tongue, replace the two words with your alternative phrase. And when you shift your attention to the future, work on your list of helpful action items.

When you are in an “if only” mood, it may be a sign that it’s time to rebalance the way you think about days gone by. For the next few days, try noticing how much attention you focus on the past, rather than looking to future or enjoying what is happening right now.

Bev wrote the Career Press best-seller, Think Like an Entrepreneur, Act Like a CEO. Her career podcast, Jazzed About Work, was produced by WOUB Digital and is heard on NPR.org.

Overcome 7 common reasons you don’t network

Posted by Beverly Jones on

How to move beyond your

excuses for not networking.

You already know that, for most professionals, a broad, diverse social network is vital to career success.

Career support is just one of the benefits that tend to flow to a person with many connections. The importance of being embedded in a vibrant network is so great that social scientists are studying how it impacts the uneven distribution of opportunity and wealth in our society.

In their fascinating book, “Connected,” professors Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler say that, “Positional inequality” occurs not because of who we are but because of who we are connected to. These connections … often matter more than our race, class, gender, or education.”

We’re all connected, some more than others. (Image by apinan via fotolia)

 “To address social disparities, then, we must recognize that our connections matter much more than the color of our skin or the size of our wallets. To address differences in education, health, or income, we must also address the personal connections of the people we are trying to help,” they say.

Their research supports what self-help experts have long been saying. In order to improve our job satisfaction, as well our overall well-being, we should consciously tend our web of relationships, always seeking to broaden our circle, while also staying in touch with those we already know.

But even when we understand the importance of networking, we may put it off or avoid it altogether.

If you’re like me, when you pass on a chance to meet and greet, you can probably come up with a plausible reason. But if you want to get serious about expanding your network, it’s time to challenge some of those rationales. Here are seven common excuses for not networking, as well as the reasons you should get out there and mingle anyway.

  1. I hate networking events. There are benefits from meetings designed so that participants can exchange business cards and stories. But there’s no need to attend if you don’t want to. Most networking happens when people are focused on something else. The crowds of volunteers who traveled last month to help Texas hurricane victims did not have networking on their minds. Yet countless enduring relationships were forged as people worked side-by-side to rescue and assist Harvey’s victims.
  2. I already have friends, and I don’t even have time to see them. Certainly it’s valuable to keep up a flow of communications with people you already know. But network scientists suggest that an “open,” varied network is a key predictor of career success. If you just hang out with the old gang, in the same industries or the same religion, your network is “closed” and your worldview may be narrow. With a closed network, you will miss countless chances to expand your knowledge and find opportunities a little further afield.
  3. I’m too busy working. One of the reasons to network is to become more effective at work. You’ll learn more, and trigger new ideas, as you expand your circle, and that may help you manage priorities and be more creative. And even when you can’t get out of the office, you can find ways to network during the meetings that you already must attend. Arrive early, chat with other attendees, and during each session engage in the discussion instead of staring at your phone.
  4. I’m not good at small talk and I hate talking about myself. Even very shy people can be fantastic networkers if they are interested in other people. Most folks you meet will enjoy talking about themselves, at least if you make it easy. So go to each event with a few questions in mind. Shift the focus to the others with simple queries like, “how do you know the host?” or “what did you like best about the speaker?”
  5. The only people who’ll meet for coffee are the ones who can’t help me. Stalking people who are already in demand is a rookie mistake. Your goal in networking is to become acquainted with a wide variety of people. And every single person is important. You cannot predict who is connected where, or will be one day. Maybe you can’t get a lunch date with that busy executive, but you can get to know a junior person in the same field. And one day you may be able to help each other.
  6. It’s scary to go to an event where you don’t know a soul. It can be daunting to be a stranger in a place where everybody else seems to know someone. Your anxiety may be partly genetic, and perhaps when you enter the room your brain triggers a bigger-than-average release of stress hormones, like adrenaline or cortisol. But you can learn to get past that kind of fear by practicing in relatively easy circumstances, then gradually increasing the challenge. Start by going alone to an undemanding get-together, like an easy class, and work up to more intimidating situations.
  7. I’m uncomfortable with people who are that different. It may not be easy to interact with those who don’t think like you. But if you can take a few deep breaths and endure the discomfort, it could be worth it. The ping of angst you feel when you contemplate attending a different kind of gathering may be a nudge from your unconscious that this opportunity is worth considering. You’ll grow if you notice your fear, find a way to calm down, and then move ahead by focusing on listening.

Networking isn’t about begging short-term help or racking up a brag-worthy list of connections. It’s about talking with folks wherever you go, learning from a wider range of people, and building and nurturing a variety of relationships.

For more career tips, check out my podcast, “Jazzed About Work,” produced by WOUB Media and distributed on NPR.

When “working hard” isn’t enough — refocus

Posted by Beverly Jones on

Want to create change?

Short bursts of targeted work

may get you further, faster.

 Like most successful professionals, you probably respect the power of hard work. But are you always “working hard” in the smartest way? When things aren’t going well, it’s tempting to redouble your efforts on your major projects. But sometimes a better use of a few hours may be to concentrate briefly but intensely on other things that you’ve been avoiding.

Working hard isn’t the same as working smart (Image by kanjana via Fotolia)

“Angela,” an attorney in a large company, learned though coaching that simply keeping busy on her favorite work just didn’t cut it. A single woman without much social life, Angela worked long days and was proud of devoting entire weekends to drafting insightful memos. But she felt unappreciated, as she watched other lawyers move past her up the corporate ladder. Her analysis of why her career was on a slow track boiled down to a conviction that she was the victim of favoritism and unenlightened leadership.

Despite her frustration, Angela didn’t give up. She put her head down and kept drafting documents, hoping that someday her hard work would be recognized. And she signed up for her company’s executive coaching program.

When we first spoke, as we sorted through past feedback from Angela’s bosses, it seemed that she had been given hints about how to move ahead. She had been encouraged to support and mentor colleagues, to develop a broader range of expertise, and to volunteer for teams and committees. And she had been told bluntly to do better at administrative tasks, like keeping up with the case tracking system.

Angela had heard the suggestions. But, she said, “I just don’t have the time.” She liked research and writing, and knew she was good at it. And she treated any other activity as trivial. “I’m already working so hard” was the excuse she used when she didn’t want to shift her attention to her bosses’ promptings.

After a few sessions, Angela saw a bigger picture and committed to allocating some of her time and energy in different ways. Recognizing that she felt burnt out, she decided to actually reduce the total hours in her workweek. And, while at the office, she would schedule short but regular blocks of time devoted to activities she had been avoiding. For example,

  • Instead of treating most meetings as annoying distractions, she started working hard by fully engaging in any gathering she attended. That included arriving on time, actively listening, and restraining the urge to stare at her phone.
  • Instead of procrastinating, she began to schedule weekly time blocks for bringing routine reporting and other tasks up to date.
  • Instead of resisting new kinds of assignments, she adopted a stretch goal of devoting at least ten percent of her time to projects beyond her comfort zone.

Angela’s career was transformed when she understood that concentrating only on her favorite priorities is not enough. She admitted that seeking perfection in her top assignments had become her excuse for avoiding other vital stuff she didn’t want to do. One new habit that helped her turn things around was to routinely list any activities she’d prefer to avoid, and then work intensely for short periods on some of those. And she found that in some cases “working harder” might not require more time, so much as an attitude shift.

Here are 5 situations when a spurt of focused hard work beats keeping busy on just your top goals.

  1. When it means accepting change. If your organization puts new systems in place, and you don’t have the clout to say “no”, don’t waste your energy on resistance. Instead of complaining that you’re too busy, embrace the change and show that you are willing to do your best. You will win points by being an early adapter, and you may get more support in the implementation stage of a new process, while proponents are still eager to help.
  2. When you connect with other people. If professionals stumble, it often stems not from a lack of technical skills, but rather from a failure to build critical relationships. It’s not enough to be good at your craft. You also have to understand how your work products impact other people. And that means routinely interacting with your coworkers and clients, and hearing what they have to say. By taking advantage of every chance encounter, and spending even a few minutes a day on other outreach, you can build connections that may support your near term objectives and empower your career.
  3. When your boss asks for help.   A key to workplace survival is to know what your boss needs and to give it to her. If your supervisor asks for assistance or a special effort, don’t dawdle even if you think she has a dumb idea. Understand what will help your boss succeed, and jump into action if she needs your support. If she knows she can count on you, she’s more likely to be in your corner.
  4. When you’re avoiding something. If you put off your least favorite tasks, they can distract you, weigh you down and perhaps become more complicated as a result of your delay. If you tend to procrastinate about certain items on your “to-do” list, decide if they are really necessary. If it’s not wise to avoid them, schedule regular but brief time slots when you can rush through the list of items you’ve left hanging.
  5. When it means branching out. Sometimes we hesitate to go after a new opportunity because we don’t know where to begin. The trick is to give up the idea that there’s a perfect starting point for building new expertise. Instead, schedule a couple of hours and just plunge in. Anywhere. If you commit to exploring a new kind of project, and you work on an outline or mind map or first draft, you are sure to stumble upon a good opening.

At times, hard work is more important than talent or education or powerful friends. But working frantically on only your favorite tasks can become a trap. Even if you spend 80 percent of your time on your top priorities, what may set you apart from the competition is the smart way you allocate the other 20 percent of your hard work.


Want even more tips to empower your career? Check out my podcast, “Jazzed About Work,” from WOUB Public Media. Each episode brings you lively career stories and expert tips for a thriving work life. Tune in to  informal conversations about everything it takes to create your resilient and rewarding work life.

How to reboot when work is a drag

Posted by Beverly Jones on

 So things are tough at work?

These 5 strategies can help.

 Most of us have periods of misery, when it seems like our careers are caught in a downward spiral. Sometimes the trigger is big and in-your-face, like the arrival of a new leader who wants to change everything about your job and mission. But at other times you just gradually lose hope, until thinking about your career leaves you wallowing in despair.

So what do you do if you can’t find a way to leave your job, but it feels like it’s only going to get worse from here?

Time to boost up your energy? (Image by gingerwisi via Fotolia)

The first thing is to understand that doing something is better than doing nothing. Chances are that nobody else will rescue you. So you’re the one who’ll have to shake things up and scramble toward paths leading to a better place.

If you’re caught in the mire, it’s time to get moving, even if you venture out only a little bit every day. As you look around for starting points, consider five strategies for bringing positive motion back to your career:

  1. Build valuable expertise.  One reason to develop greater subject matter expertise is that it will increase your job satisfaction. It takes long hours to acquire deep knowledge or technical skill, but people who have it and use it are more likely than their peers to find their work to be inherently rewarding. Beyond that, becoming an expert may translate into greater job security in the near term and a wider array of opportunities in the future. When you’re thinking about broadening your areas of know-how, don’t just jump on the bandwagon for whatever is hot today. Instead, focus on emerging issues that may become prominent down the road. Then position yourself to become the go-to answer person for next year’s questions.
  2. Embrace technology.  Change is tiring and it’s normal regret losing the old ways, particularly if that’s where you’re an expert. But this is the digital age, and — regardless of your profession — your future is being reshaped by changes in technology. If you drag your feet when it’s time to learn the latest system or application, colleagues may assume that you just can’t do it, perhaps because you’re too old or lack the education. Don’t fall into stereotypes or allow yourself to be marginalized. Instead, show interest in new trends and learn the latest relevant App. A good starting point can be social media. Professor Karen Riggs, who leads an SM program at Ohio University’s Scripps College of Communication, says, “Social networks have low barriers to entry for professional use and can give you a way to show that you’re not intimidated by tech.”
  3. Learn something.  When you’re in the doldrums, a smart method for working your way out is to learn something new. This might mean expanding your expertise, but the approach works well even if you focus on a topic that has nothing to do with your day job. Being in learning mode changes the way you see the world. You become more alert, less bored and, perhaps, even less boring. You are more likely to spot opportunities and make connections among seemingly unrelated issues. And, while you’re gathering information outside your normal patterns, there’s a good chance you’ll try new experiences and broaden your network.
  4. Focus on people.  When you’re struggling in the morass, it’s easy to stumble into self-pity. But self-absorption will make your situation worse. If all you can think about is how unhappy you are, it’s time to shift your thoughts and start noticing other people. To get started, look around your workplace and ask yourself, “Is there any way I can help.” If you’re in a situation where others are struggling too, an easy way to add value is to listen carefully to what they have to say. Another is to be a positive force in the office, whether that means complimenting and thanking co-workers or consistently sounding upbeat and friendly. Many people find it satisfying to help out by mentoring or assisting colleagues or others in their professional community. And if you’re really feeling frustrated at work, volunteering in some kind of unrelated non-profit activity might help you regain overall perspective.
  5. Enjoy other parts of your life.  Most of my coaching clients were “A” students at school, and now they still want to feel like they’re regularly earning accolades and moving ahead. But a sense of achievement is seldom enjoyed at a steady pace in today’s long careers. There are times when trying too hard to get ahead may be self-defeating. In some difficult periods, the smart move may to do the best work you can, but then give yourself permission to stop striving so hard in your professional life. There are other ways to find enjoyment and satisfaction, and get your mojo back. One strategy for escaping career doldrums is to pursue a healthy hobby so passionately that you are energized and in better shape for your work life. The best path to a reboot at work may be to take a great vacation, vary and expand your social life, or try a new sport.

Want more ideas for creating a thriving, resilient career? Check out my book, “Think Like an Entrepreneur, Act Like a CEO: 50 Indispensable Tips to Help You Stay Afloat, Bounce Back, and Get Ahead at Work.”