Know Someone Who Needs Tips For Successful Business Dining?

Number 137

Table manners can be a factor when you or your colleagues are trying to make a positive impression. More than that, dining out, whether as a host or a guest, is a social art form, and one that can support or undercut your path to professional success.

If you work in an environment where occasional meals are part of the culture, you might want to consider the roles of guests and hosts. Business may flow more smoothly if everybody on the team has an idea of the behavior expected when you are dining out.

Most people understand that the job of a dinner host includes providing the food and beverages, and taking steps to ensure that every guest is comfortable and has a good time. Even when there is a business component to the meal, the host is expected to maximize the guests’ enjoyment.

But not everyone realizes that dinner guests share in the responsibility of creating a successful evening. Here are do’s and don’ts for guests:

• Join in the talk. The best dinner parties include lively conversation, with everyone participating. As a guest, one of your primary tasks is to assist in fostering discussion that everybody can enjoy. Even if you are an introvert or new to the group, you can help keep the conversation flowing by directing polite questions to the quieter guests.
• But don’t talk too much. What if you truly are the wittiest, highest ranking or most interesting person at the table? If that is the case, it is still boorish to hog the conversation. Use your talents to draw other people into the discussion. And don’t speak or laugh significantly more loudly than others in the room.
• Express appreciation. During the dinner, it is appropriate – and kind – to let your host and others know that you are enjoying the event. If the dinner is in the host’s home, you may wish to bring a small, token gift, like a bottle of wine (that the host may choose to drink later). You certainly should thank your hosts as you are leaving. And, if you want to be classy, reach out within the next day or two with a thank-you call, email or note, depending on the formality of the occasion.
• Put your cell phone away. It has become common to have your cell phone or Blackberry within reach in restaurants, particularly if you need to be reachable by a babysitter or guests who have not yet arrived. But if you must talk on the phone during the meal, you should excuse yourself and leave the table. And it is always rude to place your phone on the dining table in the host’s home.
• Eat to the left and drink to the right. Don’t get hung up on questions about which fork to use. The whole point of standardized silverware rules is to make guests comfortable as they select the implement for each course. But often the pattern is varied, perhaps to create a more attractive table. And nobody is likely to care if you pick up the “wrong” fork. On the other hand, you can avoid disrupting the table if you know which wine glass and bread plate belongs to you. The general rule is that all glasses are placed on the right side of the main dinner plate (“drink to the right”), and other dishes are on the left (“eat to the left”). In case of doubt, copy your host, or simply ask.
• Be on your best behavior. If you accept another person’s hospitality, you are entering into an unwritten social contract requiring you to act with grace and responsibility. You are not doing your part if you drink excessively, become crude or aggressive, or fall asleep or otherwise withdraw from conversation.
• Mind your manners. Standards of etiquette can help you avoid behavior that other people might find to be rude or disgusting. In U.S. business circles, these rules are widely accepted:
  • Don’t change place cards or object when your host indicates where you should sit.
  • Always chew with your mouth closed.
  • Do not speak when you have food in your mouth.
  • Eat quietly, taking small manageable bites.
  • Don’t slurp or blow on your food to cool it – just wait until it is not so hot.
  • Never blow your nose on your napkin.
  • Never pick your teeth at the table.