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Bev's Tips for a Better Work Life

Tips for a more rewarding and resilient career

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workplace issues

How to be happy at work

Posted by Beverly Jones on March 5, 2018

How three basics of happiness

promote workplace engagement.

The most recent of bestselling author Dan Buettner’s insightful “Blue Zone” books shares lessons from healthy and thriving people around the world. In “The Blue Zones of Happiness,” Buettner summarizes a broad sweep of research and recommends ways for all of us to achieve greater well-being.

According to Buettner, the latest studies suggest that by cultivating three elements of happiness, you can achieve greater fulfillment. He says you need:

  • Purpose, which means you find opportunities in your daily life to use your gifts and talents in pursuit of meaningful goals;
  • Pride, meaning that your jobs and activities give you a sense of accomplishment, and;
  • Pleasure, including fun, awe and joy – particularly from socializing for hours every day.

I agree with Buettner’s wise advise about building a rewarding life. And I was intrigued by his three-part formula, because I have been using a similar framework when coaching clients around issues related to happiness at work.

“Engaged employees” tend to be relatively happy and committed to their work. And these upbeat workers are likely to achieve more than their negative, disgruntled peers. Because research underscores the link between attitude and job performance, organizational leaders often feel pressured to find new ways to promote “employee engagement.”

There’s no single, easy technique leaders can use to generate enthusiasm. But whether you want to inspire your team or yourself, a starting point is to reflect upon the things that do help you feel happy while you’re at work.

When coaching clients, one way I get at these issues is by exploring what I call the “Engagement Triangle.” Often, workplace happiness is the result of managing three basic factors. You’ll feel more jazzed about your job when you have:

  1. Purpose. It’s easier to love your job if you’re working for something that matters more than just a paycheck.
  • Sometimes your work has meaning because you support the vision or values of the organization. Among successful companies known for their core values, Zappos says it will “create fun and a little weirdness.” At Salesforce.com, leaders say nothing is more important than trust. And Google says, “We believe everyone deserves the chance to learn, succeed, and be heard.”
  • Your team’s values can be motivating even when they are unstated. People share a sense of purpose in groups that offer superior service or a highly valued product.
  • Even a tedious job can feel rewarding if you have a good reason for working so hard, like supporting your family or laying groundwork for the next phase of your career.
  1. People. Your job satisfaction is influenced by your colleagues, by your broader circle of clients and professional contacts, and by the other people you bump into throughout your career.
  • According to Gallup research, having friends at work is a key to employee retention. And if you have close friends at work you’re likely to be happier than your colleagues, more productive and better at engaging customers.
  • Many studies confirm that we accomplish more in an environment where coworkers treat each other with respect, gratitude, trust and integrity. Studies suggest that your office culture is more likely to promote success if people treat each other like friends.
  • In “The Culture Code,” bestselling author Daniel Coyle argues convincingly that highly successful groups tend to develop a culture that feels much like a family. He says that in strong teams people have a sense of belonging, communicate constantly and feel safe around one another.
  • If you work alone, or in an environment doesn’t feel friendly, it may be time to broaden your professional network, and explore activities that allow you to interact with simpatico folks.
  1. Performance. You’ll probably love your job if you find enjoyment in your tasks, if you continue to build expertise, and if you frequently feel a sense of accomplishment.
  • Buettner suggests that time can move quickly in the best jobs because “your goal is clear, the task is challenging and you’re getting immediate feedback on how you’re doing.”
  • When work starts to feel dull, a good way to find new energy is to learn something new. The sense of accomplishment that comes from acquiring a fresh skill or deeper knowledge may jumpstart your next upward spiral.
  • Workers with autonomy tend to be happier and more productive than their micromanaged peers. If you are the team leader, be specific and consistent about goals, and let folks on the ground decide how to reach them. If you’re the one feeling micromanaged, focus on the decisions that you can control, and gain greater satisfaction from repetitive tasks by continuing to find ways to improve each process.
  • The way you perform your tasks helps you to support other people, contribute to the shared vision, and define your role within a group.

Do you want to have a bit more energy tomorrow morning? Try starting your day by writing answers to these three questions:

  1. What core value will I keep in mind during my work today?
  2. Who will I remember to appreciate in the course of the workday?
  3. What task will I perform with special attention?

Filed Under: Career management, career success, workplace issues Tagged With: career success, employee engagement, happiness, personal growth

Try this recipe for job satisfaction

Posted by Beverly Jones on November 1, 2017

Here’s one man’s formula
for loving his work life

I book my haircuts three months in advance because Jason Holloway, my hairdresser, has a full calendar and a long waitlist.

Jason sometimes works just 4 days a week, and he sees clients only 6 to 8 hours a day. Unlike other studio owners I’ve known, he never double books in order to squeeze in a second client for a quick cut while the first in that time block waits for her color to take.

Hair stylist Jason Holloway

I love that, once I reach Jason’s chair, he is always ready for me, on time and focused entirely on me and my hair. But I know that his small business has substantial overhead, and I suspect that he could make a lot more money if he were to put in more time or serve his clients at a faster pace.

So I asked Jason if he’d consider adding hours to his studio schedule, or finding ways to fit more clients into each day. “No,” he said, “if I’m just grinding it out, it shows in my work.”

In earlier years Jason operated on a high tier of the salon industry, crisscrossing the country to teach L’Oreal customers about the latest trends and techniques in hair design. He liked being a trainer, he enjoyed the opportunity to be a player in the fashion industry, and he was making more money than he had time to spend.

But Jason was exhausted by the constant travel. And he wanted to find “peace.” So he decided to leave the big time, move from the D.C. area to little Culpeper, Virginia, and create a career that would support the life he wants.

Now, with his own small salon, Jason is proud that clients book months ahead, perhaps driving 50 miles or so for an appointment. Most important, he seems to be a happy and self-aware man, one who keeps revisiting his most important values, as he continues to tweak his balance of work and life. Here is the career formula that helps Jason to remain joyful and productive:

• Start with the people. Once he launched his studio in Culpeper, Jason moved carefully to find compatible workers. He trained the apprentice who has become his sidekick, April Carter, and he recruited two friends as part-time colleagues. And he builds real relationships with his clients, focusing on each one intently and looking forward to visiting with his regulars. Jason understands what Gallup polls have shown — that having friends at work is incredibly important to your job satisfaction.

• Value what you do. Jason loves doing hair, including for people who may face the ravages of cancer or other special challenges. He says, “The way we appear in the world, our personal style, speaks volumes about us. This is why the connection between stylist and client is so strong and personal … Because to help reveal someone’s ‘spiritual grace,’ you have to know them.” He regards hair as a kind of calling, a combination of art, science and service to others. Jason has a sense of mission. And research consistently shows that people like him, who find meaning in their work, report better health, well-being and resilience.

• Leave room for side gigs. Jason is passionate about his salon and takes pride in staying ahead of the trends, but he wants more variety in his career. So he leaves time for producing and selling art, including images where tiny, cropped photographs become a type of brushstroke. And he teaches the occasional Ashtanga yoga class. His combination of activities means that he is always learning something new, which is key to a satisfying work life.

• Maintain autonomy. Many studies show what Jason has figured out for himself: workers who have substantial control over how they meet their goals are happier and more productive than those kept on a tighter rein. Jason doesn’t enjoy the accounting and compliance tasks that are part of running a small business. But for him, the benefits of making his own decisions outweigh the more tedious aspects of being an entrepreneur.

Jason’s formula for loving his work includes having a mission, building strong relationships, traveling along multiple learning paths, and staying in control of his days and weeks. That is a pretty good starting point for many people.

What is your formula for staying passionate about your career?

Filed Under: Career management, career resilience, priorities, workplace issues Tagged With: changing your life, employee engagement, work life balance

If political talk at work is making you crazy

Posted by Beverly Jones on June 27, 2016

Is chatter about politics

exhausting you at work?

We’ve all heard that it’s not smart to talk about contentious issues, like politics or religion, at the office. Some companies even have rules against discussing political and other potentially inflammatory matters in the workplace.

And most of us agree, at least in theory, that it’s wise to avoid talking politics with your colleagues. And yet in this election season it seems that a rising tide of workers are complaining that it’s tough to escape from distracting, annoying and sometimes upsetting political commentary.

After hearing from coaching clients who are tired of too much talk about the candidates, I looked around for suggestions from people who seem to remain serene despite the cacophony. Among them is Connie East, co-owner of the Thyme Restaurants – including a lively bar – in Culpeper, Virginia. For 20 years I’ve watched Connie remain unruffled while customers try to provoke her with outrageous opinions.

According to Connie, it’s not too hard to politely cope with people who want to impose their views on you. She says the secret is, “Don’t engage.” The key technique Connie suggests is to “Stay neutral. Say something like, ‘Oh, is that what you think?’ Or parrot their words back to them in a calm manner. Then shift the topic to something less volatile.”

I agree that “never engage” is the go-to strategy for coping with overly political colleagues. But the best way to respond may depend on your situation. If too much political talk is getting you down, first diagnose the problem, then try these approaches:

  • If they keep mentioning candidates. It’s easy to ignore the occasional reference to politicians, but if co-workers won’t stop talking about them it’s OK to ask them to cease. The best thing is to be polite but direct. You might say, “I don’t like to talk about politics at work. I find that it’s too easy for me to feel distracted, and I need to concentrate on this deadline.”
  • If they talk too much about everything.   We are in the midst of a highly political season so it’s not surprising the topic keeps coming up. But your basic problem may be co-workers who talk too much about anything in the news, from sports to the weather. While you don’t want to be rude, you can set boundaries. It’s appropriate to say, “I can’t take the time to talk now because I’ve got a deadline.” To keep the conversation on track during meetings, always propose an agenda, and keep sticking to it. If you find yourself frequently cutting off chatty co-workers, but you want to stay friends, show it’s not personal by finding opportunities for them to express themselves. Suggest a lunch or coffee break, and devote that time to listening to whatever they want to say.
  • If you disagree with their opinions. Do you feel uncomfortable because you work with people who think and vote in different ways than you do? It’s unlikely that you’ll be able to stop them from making occasional comments. But you can decide how much to let it bother you. When you can’t just walk away, take a lesson from successful politicians and let the rhetoric just flow on by. Vociferous political speech is part of our culture. You might think of it like the weather – it may get stormy, but it’s not about you, and it soon it will pass.
  • If they start talking at you. If you don’t learn to restrain your kneejerk reaction to their obnoxious partisan comments, there’s a danger that teasing you could become a popular office sport. Some people enjoy arguing about politics but if you don’t, then don’t take the bait. If you stop rising to their remarks, you’ll ruin their fun and they may stop bothering you.
  • If it’s over the top. There’s a difference between annoying, dogmatic dialogue and hate speech. If colleagues describe your favorite candidate as an idiot, that’s not about you and it’s best to let it go. But if they make repeated comments that are racist, homophobic, misogynous or otherwise demeaning to an entire class of people, that certainly can feel like it’s directed at you. Sweeping dismissive comments can create a hostile, unproductive workplace, and you don’t have to put up with it. Go to your boss or the human resources department and let them know about the situation.

The best way to escape a political diatribe can be to walk away or tune it out. But if you find yourself drawn into the conversation, don’t make it worse. Maintain a matter-of-fact, analytical tone and focus on the issues. And never make derisive personal comments, even about your least favorite candidate.

For more tips about smart communications at the office, check out my book, “Think Like an Entrepreneur, Act Like a CEO.”        


Image by Fotolia by Adobe

Filed Under: business etiquette, career resilience, difficult people, frustration management, workplace issues Tagged With: business etiquette, career success, political talk

Learn how to accept tough feedback

Posted by Beverly Jones on September 26, 2015

You can become more at ease

with criticism of your work

During my first coaching session with “Jodie,” a talented scientist, she expressed frustration about not getting the challenging assignments she thought she deserved. She theorized that she might be a victim of gender discrimination. Or perhaps she wasn’t respected because her Ph.D. was from a university some regarded as second-tier.

I heard a different story when, with Jodie’s permission, I interviewed some of her current and former colleagues. It was clear that Jodie’s accomplishments and credentials were widely respected. But people were reluctant involve her in demanding or innovative projects because she was so overly sensitive to criticism.

One colleague liked Jodie personally but suggested it could be exhausting and time-consuming to work with her. “When we start something new, it’s normal to make false starts. Somebody comes up with an idea, we try it out, and if doesn’t work the team gets together to pick it apart. But when Jodie’s on the team she’s so defensive that we all have to walk on egg shells.”

Criticism hurts – if you let it (image (c)olly via Fotolia)

As we spoke, Jodie became aware that her inability to accept negative feedback was limiting her professional growth. And she acknowledged that she had long found it difficult to accept criticism, not only at work but also with her friends and family. A harsh comment could make her feel physically ill, and might send her mind racing with protests and catastrophic predictions.

Jodie found that her employer’s family assistance program would subsidize the cost of weekly counseling to help her learn how to better manage her visceral response to any disparaging comment. She felt some relief when she understood that it’s normal for people to react more strongly to just a bit of criticism than they might to lot of praise. Soon she was learning to manage both the angry, defensive voice in her head, and the physical pain she felt when it seemed like she was under attack.

Meanwhile, in the context of coaching, Jodie developed this plan to overcome her reputation as someone too delicate to be part of a problem-solving team:

  • Recruit support. Jodie scheduled individual meetings with several trusted colleagues to let each know that she was working to get better at accepting negative feedback. She said she was becoming more comfortable in an environment where people typically make well-meaning but blunt suggestions about each other’s work. She asked for both patience and suggestions about how to engage in the give-and-take normal among the high performers in her group. And she requested that colleagues not to try to keep her away from situations where they thought her feelings might get hurt.
  • Pause before responding. During counseling, Jodie noticed how her defensive reaction to criticism tended to quickly build until she couldn’t seem to contain it. As she became better at spotting her emotional build-up, she learned to take a few deep breaths instead of immediately expressing her anger. She found that if she waited a day or two, criticism might feel less like a personal assault and more like a useful suggestion. And if she felt particularly wounded, she might soothe herself with a treat, like arranging for a massage, or taking her husband out for a nice dinner.
  • Stand in the speaker’s shoes. Once Jodie slowed down her quick response to criticism, she then tried to look at it from the standpoint of the critic. Sometimes she would write an analysis because that helped her to be objective. She would address questions like:
    • Who made the comment? Did it come from her boss, who might be typing to help her? From someone with expertise different from hers? And does the speaker have goals that are valid, although not the same as hers?
    • What might she learn from the comment?
    • Was the remark truly about her work or idea, or did it say more about the mood of the person who spoke? If it was just a casual comment from someone having a bad day, she might just let it go.
  • Define the goal of any response. Once she paused and thought about the criticism, Jodie would decide whether something could be gained from answering back. She wouldn’t indulge in venting. But if an important point were at stake, she would frame her arguments in a positive and strategic way.
  • Practice accepting corrections. To become better at remaining detached from the emotional impact of criticism, Jodie decided to practice in situations where the risks were low. She signed up for a creative writing course and learned to keep her cool when it was her turn to have an assignment critiqued by the class. And she joined a knitting group where more experienced knitters helped her to untangle the mistakes she made with her needles.

It’s normal to feel defensive when people criticize you. But feeling insulted is painful and doesn’t get you anywhere. With practice you can develop a thicker skin. You can choose to let go of your hurt feelings and refocus on the work product or concept under discussion.

Filed Under: Career management, personal growth, working with colleagues, workplace issues Tagged With: accepting feedback, criticism

Moving past an error of judgment

Posted by Beverly Jones on August 25, 2015

How to bounce back after

 a poor decision at work

Recently I wrote about Ira Chaleff’s fine new book, Intelligent Disobedience, that explores situations where ignoring your supervisor’s command may be an act of wisdom and courage. In response, a friend told me a story about an executive who kept pushing on a proposal after her boss had nixed it. In this case, the CEO not only forgave the executive, but also had a transformative leadership experience as a result of his team member’s challenging behavior.  In this post I’ll share that story, modified to protect identities, and then offer my own suggestions about how you can recover from a poor decision at work.

That CEO, who I’ll call“Tony,” ran a large medical technology company, and “Sarah” led one of the company’s research and development units. Sarah had teams exploring a variety of tools for delivering more effective patient care. Personally, she was particularly interested in devices addressing cardiac disease because she had friends and family members with heart problems.

Sarah sent Tony a detailed proposal for an innovative device with a high likelihood of helping patients suffering from a certain kind of heart defect. She made a strong case that the device could save patients’ lives and that it had a good chance of moving quickly through the regulatory review process.

When he received Sarah’s proposal, Tony was preoccupied by a corporate merger. Although normally a thoughtful and thorough decision-maker, this time Tony just took a quick look and fired back a note saying that the proposal was a non-starter because the defect was relatively rare and the impacted patients didn’t represent a big enough market to justify the cost of introducing the product.

Despite Sarah’s appeals for further consideration, Tony made it clear that he didn’t want more resources to be invested in the device. But Sarah was haunted by the thought of the people who might die without it. So she ignored Tony’s wishes and authorized continued work on her pet project, quietly folding the costs into a much larger cardiac initiative.

Sarah kept pushing forward without seeking permission. Eventually the device was approved and did indeed start saving lives. Soon the technology was attracting attention in the medical community because it held the potential for additional applications. Then one day Tony called Sarah to his office and handed her a letter from his college roommate. It said, “Tony, your new device saved my life.”

Soon after that, at an annual meeting of the company’s top 400 leaders, Tony told the story of Sarah’s defiance. And he made three statements that won respect from his team and shaped the corporate culture for handling future errors of judgment:

  • He apologized for being wrong and acknowledged that he had told Sarah “no,” not once but three times.
  • He commended Sarah for having the courage and strength of her conviction to approach leaders repeatedly and finally buck the system because it was the right thing to do for patients.
  • He committed to doing something “exceptional” to make amends and create a process that would make future errors in judgment less likely.
Sometimes ya gotta say "sorry"
Sometimes ya gotta say “sorry

In an environment where innovation is encouraged, professionals must become comfortable with taking risks. And where risk-taking is the norm, it’s inevitable that some decisions won’t work out well. Savvy leaders support the creative culture by modeling a method of accepting responsibility and moving forward after a mistake has been made. One smart way to manage judgment errors is the three-part approach I call “Plan A”:

  • Acknowledge that you made the wrong choice and accept responsibility for the consequences. At the same time, thank anyone who helped you to recognize or overcome the problem.
  • Apologize for the damage you caused, or the opportunity you missed. Be specific so that people can see how you recognize the result of your choices and actions.
  • Identify Action Steps that will rectify or make up for your mistake and make it more likely that good judgment will prevail in the future.

We all make decisions that don’t work out well. Next time you make a blunder, face it straight on, try handling it with Plan A, and quickly refocus on doing excellent work in the future.

To explore more career issues, please check out my book, Think Like an Entrepreneur, Act Like a CEO, coming soon from Career Press.

Filed Under: Career management, courageous following, workplace issues Tagged With: judgment errors, leadership

6 ways to get more from meetings

Posted by Beverly Jones on February 7, 2015

Stuck in endless meetings?

Make better use of that time.

How much time do you devote to meetings? Your first answer might be: “Too much!” But seriously, do you have any idea what percentage of your work life is spent meeting with people? Try calculating it. And if meetings take just 20 percent of your time, and you work 40 hours a week, 50 weeks a year, that’s a whopping 400 hours annually.

I often talk with coaching clients about how to cut down the number of hours they spend sitting at a conference table. You can reduce meeting time by:

  • Agreeing with your colleagues to maintain shorter default times. For example, if your team always gathers on Monday mornings for an hour, commit to a new time limit of 45 minutes.
  • Say “no.” Sometimes your presence isn’t all that important, and you can be excused simply by explaining that you have another commitment.
  • Run better discussions.       Particularly if you’re the leader, you can recapture wasted time by establishing good group habits, like always having an agenda, and insisting on punctuality.

Business meeting, brainstorming in flat style.But no matter how adept you are at managing your own meetings, and avoiding some others, you probably still spend a big chunk of your work time convening with colleagues.

You may sometimes feel like my client “Sharon,” who was frustrated because she felt stuck. Sharon wanted the chance to lead a team. But Jenny, her mentor, warned that some senior colleagues felt Sharon wasn’t ready to be a manager.

Sharon complained, “If I didn’t have to waste so much time sitting in their useless meetings I could really show them what I can do.”

Jenny countered, “You can’t get out of those meetings, so why not make better use of them? [Read more…] about 6 ways to get more from meetings

Filed Under: professional growth, workplace issues Tagged With: meetings, productivity tools

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Beverly Jones is a master of reinvention. She started out as a writer, next led university programs for women, and then trail-blazed her career as a Washington lawyer and Fortune 500 energy executive. Throughout her varied work life she has mentored other professionals to grow and thrive.

Since 2002, Bev has flourished as an executive coach and leadership consultant, helping professionals of all ages to advance their careers, shift directions, and become more productive. Based in the nation's capital, she works with clients across the country, including accomplished leaders at major federal agencies, NGOs, universities and companies of all sizes. Bev is a popular speaker and facilitator, and she creates workshops and other events around the needs of her clients.

When she's not working, Bev is often found in Rappahannock County, Virginia, in the garden of the farmhouse she shares with her husband, former Washington Post ombudsman Andy Alexander, and their two dogs.

See more career tips from Bev in Kerry Hannon's prize-winning book, "Love Your Job"



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