Bev's Tips for a Better Work Life

Tips for a more rewarding and resilient career

For almost 20 years, Bev has been coaching
professionals to thrive at work, navigate
transitions and grow as leaders.

professional advancement

Overcome 7 common reasons you don’t network

Posted by Beverly Jones on

How to move beyond your

excuses for not networking.

You already know that, for most professionals, a broad, diverse social network is vital to career success.

Career support is just one of the benefits that tend to flow to a person with many connections. The importance of being embedded in a vibrant network is so great that social scientists are studying how it impacts the uneven distribution of opportunity and wealth in our society.

In their fascinating book, “Connected,” professors Nicholas Christakis and James Fowler say that, “Positional inequality” occurs not because of who we are but because of who we are connected to. These connections … often matter more than our race, class, gender, or education.”

We’re all connected, some more than others. (Image by apinan via fotolia)

 “To address social disparities, then, we must recognize that our connections matter much more than the color of our skin or the size of our wallets. To address differences in education, health, or income, we must also address the personal connections of the people we are trying to help,” they say.

Their research supports what self-help experts have long been saying. In order to improve our job satisfaction, as well our overall well-being, we should consciously tend our web of relationships, always seeking to broaden our circle, while also staying in touch with those we already know.

But even when we understand the importance of networking, we may put it off or avoid it altogether.

If you’re like me, when you pass on a chance to meet and greet, you can probably come up with a plausible reason. But if you want to get serious about expanding your network, it’s time to challenge some of those rationales. Here are seven common excuses for not networking, as well as the reasons you should get out there and mingle anyway.

  1. I hate networking events. There are benefits from meetings designed so that participants can exchange business cards and stories. But there’s no need to attend if you don’t want to. Most networking happens when people are focused on something else. The crowds of volunteers who traveled last month to help Texas hurricane victims did not have networking on their minds. Yet countless enduring relationships were forged as people worked side-by-side to rescue and assist Harvey’s victims.
  2. I already have friends, and I don’t even have time to see them. Certainly it’s valuable to keep up a flow of communications with people you already know. But network scientists suggest that an “open,” varied network is a key predictor of career success. If you just hang out with the old gang, in the same industries or the same religion, your network is “closed” and your worldview may be narrow. With a closed network, you will miss countless chances to expand your knowledge and find opportunities a little further afield.
  3. I’m too busy working. One of the reasons to network is to become more effective at work. You’ll learn more, and trigger new ideas, as you expand your circle, and that may help you manage priorities and be more creative. And even when you can’t get out of the office, you can find ways to network during the meetings that you already must attend. Arrive early, chat with other attendees, and during each session engage in the discussion instead of staring at your phone.
  4. I’m not good at small talk and I hate talking about myself. Even very shy people can be fantastic networkers if they are interested in other people. Most folks you meet will enjoy talking about themselves, at least if you make it easy. So go to each event with a few questions in mind. Shift the focus to the others with simple queries like, “how do you know the host?” or “what did you like best about the speaker?”
  5. The only people who’ll meet for coffee are the ones who can’t help me. Stalking people who are already in demand is a rookie mistake. Your goal in networking is to become acquainted with a wide variety of people. And every single person is important. You cannot predict who is connected where, or will be one day. Maybe you can’t get a lunch date with that busy executive, but you can get to know a junior person in the same field. And one day you may be able to help each other.
  6. It’s scary to go to an event where you don’t know a soul. It can be daunting to be a stranger in a place where everybody else seems to know someone. Your anxiety may be partly genetic, and perhaps when you enter the room your brain triggers a bigger-than-average release of stress hormones, like adrenaline or cortisol. But you can learn to get past that kind of fear by practicing in relatively easy circumstances, then gradually increasing the challenge. Start by going alone to an undemanding get-together, like an easy class, and work up to more intimidating situations.
  7. I’m uncomfortable with people who are that different. It may not be easy to interact with those who don’t think like you. But if you can take a few deep breaths and endure the discomfort, it could be worth it. The ping of angst you feel when you contemplate attending a different kind of gathering may be a nudge from your unconscious that this opportunity is worth considering. You’ll grow if you notice your fear, find a way to calm down, and then move ahead by focusing on listening.

Networking isn’t about begging short-term help or racking up a brag-worthy list of connections. It’s about talking with folks wherever you go, learning from a wider range of people, and building and nurturing a variety of relationships.

For more career tips, check out my podcast, “Jazzed About Work,” produced by WOUB Media and distributed on NPR.

When “working hard” isn’t enough — refocus

Posted by Beverly Jones on

Want to create change?

Short bursts of targeted work

may get you further, faster.

 Like most successful professionals, you probably respect the power of hard work. But are you always “working hard” in the smartest way? When things aren’t going well, it’s tempting to redouble your efforts on your major projects. But sometimes a better use of a few hours may be to concentrate briefly but intensely on other things that you’ve been avoiding.

Working hard isn’t the same as working smart (Image by kanjana via Fotolia)

“Angela,” an attorney in a large company, learned though coaching that simply keeping busy on her favorite work just didn’t cut it. A single woman without much social life, Angela worked long days and was proud of devoting entire weekends to drafting insightful memos. But she felt unappreciated, as she watched other lawyers move past her up the corporate ladder. Her analysis of why her career was on a slow track boiled down to a conviction that she was the victim of favoritism and unenlightened leadership.

Despite her frustration, Angela didn’t give up. She put her head down and kept drafting documents, hoping that someday her hard work would be recognized. And she signed up for her company’s executive coaching program.

When we first spoke, as we sorted through past feedback from Angela’s bosses, it seemed that she had been given hints about how to move ahead. She had been encouraged to support and mentor colleagues, to develop a broader range of expertise, and to volunteer for teams and committees. And she had been told bluntly to do better at administrative tasks, like keeping up with the case tracking system.

Angela had heard the suggestions. But, she said, “I just don’t have the time.” She liked research and writing, and knew she was good at it. And she treated any other activity as trivial. “I’m already working so hard” was the excuse she used when she didn’t want to shift her attention to her bosses’ promptings.

After a few sessions, Angela saw a bigger picture and committed to allocating some of her time and energy in different ways. Recognizing that she felt burnt out, she decided to actually reduce the total hours in her workweek. And, while at the office, she would schedule short but regular blocks of time devoted to activities she had been avoiding. For example,

  • Instead of treating most meetings as annoying distractions, she started working hard by fully engaging in any gathering she attended. That included arriving on time, actively listening, and restraining the urge to stare at her phone.
  • Instead of procrastinating, she began to schedule weekly time blocks for bringing routine reporting and other tasks up to date.
  • Instead of resisting new kinds of assignments, she adopted a stretch goal of devoting at least ten percent of her time to projects beyond her comfort zone.

Angela’s career was transformed when she understood that concentrating only on her favorite priorities is not enough. She admitted that seeking perfection in her top assignments had become her excuse for avoiding other vital stuff she didn’t want to do. One new habit that helped her turn things around was to routinely list any activities she’d prefer to avoid, and then work intensely for short periods on some of those. And she found that in some cases “working harder” might not require more time, so much as an attitude shift.

Here are 5 situations when a spurt of focused hard work beats keeping busy on just your top goals.

  1. When it means accepting change. If your organization puts new systems in place, and you don’t have the clout to say “no”, don’t waste your energy on resistance. Instead of complaining that you’re too busy, embrace the change and show that you are willing to do your best. You will win points by being an early adapter, and you may get more support in the implementation stage of a new process, while proponents are still eager to help.
  2. When you connect with other people. If professionals stumble, it often stems not from a lack of technical skills, but rather from a failure to build critical relationships. It’s not enough to be good at your craft. You also have to understand how your work products impact other people. And that means routinely interacting with your coworkers and clients, and hearing what they have to say. By taking advantage of every chance encounter, and spending even a few minutes a day on other outreach, you can build connections that may support your near term objectives and empower your career.
  3. When your boss asks for help.   A key to workplace survival is to know what your boss needs and to give it to her. If your supervisor asks for assistance or a special effort, don’t dawdle even if you think she has a dumb idea. Understand what will help your boss succeed, and jump into action if she needs your support. If she knows she can count on you, she’s more likely to be in your corner.
  4. When you’re avoiding something. If you put off your least favorite tasks, they can distract you, weigh you down and perhaps become more complicated as a result of your delay. If you tend to procrastinate about certain items on your “to-do” list, decide if they are really necessary. If it’s not wise to avoid them, schedule regular but brief time slots when you can rush through the list of items you’ve left hanging.
  5. When it means branching out. Sometimes we hesitate to go after a new opportunity because we don’t know where to begin. The trick is to give up the idea that there’s a perfect starting point for building new expertise. Instead, schedule a couple of hours and just plunge in. Anywhere. If you commit to exploring a new kind of project, and you work on an outline or mind map or first draft, you are sure to stumble upon a good opening.

At times, hard work is more important than talent or education or powerful friends. But working frantically on only your favorite tasks can become a trap. Even if you spend 80 percent of your time on your top priorities, what may set you apart from the competition is the smart way you allocate the other 20 percent of your hard work.


Want even more tips to empower your career? Check out my podcast, “Jazzed About Work,” from WOUB Public Media. Each episode brings you lively career stories and expert tips for a thriving work life. Tune in to  informal conversations about everything it takes to create your resilient and rewarding work life.

How to be a true professional

Posted by Beverly Jones on

Build characteristics shared by

the very best professionals 

“Bob,” my coaching client, had recently changed jobs and was unsure about his new team. He said about his staff, “They’re great. Really good people. They have a lot of skills. But, somehow, they’re not real professional.”

Bob liked his new team members and believed they had potential. But, while he couldn’t put his finger on why, he felt the team’s performance was less than it could be. As he thought about his first year goals, the challenge he took up was to help his team become “more professional.”

As a serious careerist like Bob, you want to be supported by people who are highly “professional.” And, of course, you want others to regard you as a true professional. But just what does that mean?

What is a “professional”?

proThe meaning of the term “professional” has shifted in recent decades.
The traditional professions included doctors, lawyers, architects and other experts who were specially educated, usually licensed and often relatively well-paid.

But today’s definition is much broader. The word can describe anybody who is seriously engaged in meaningful, challenging work. Professionals are found in myriad fields, from IT to the culinary arts, but all workers aren’t professional.

Knowledge can set professionals apart. Today’s professionals are committed to building their skills and expertise regardless of whether they have specific degrees or certifications.

In addition to continuing their education, professionals strive to maintain quality and ethical standards. They believe their work is valuable. And they expect more from their careers than just financial compensation. They want satisfaction, some sense of identity and community, and the opportunity to make a contribution.

What does it mean to be “professional”?

Just because you have a professional type job doesn’t mean others will regard you as highly “professional.” [Read more…] about How to be a true professional

The puzzle of career women who hesitate

Posted by Beverly Jones on

 Why are professional women

still hitting a glass ceiling?

Lately I keep finding myself in conversations about how a surprising number of women aren’t moving confidently into leadership within their careers. I’ve heard some worries from my executive coaching clients, but often the topic has come up at social or business events.

For me it’s a puzzle: why is it that so many terrific professional women are still struggling with issues we thought we’d be able to put to rest back in the 80s and 90s?

This doesn’t seem to be just an us-against-them, women-versus-men thing. I’ve heard insightful men express concern that too few women are reaching their full professional potential. For example, two male professors recently asked me why their star female students seem to have lower job aspirations than their less qualified male classmates?

And in recent months, both at formal industry conferences and in casual chats, some of the most accomplished American women journalists have been talking about how leading newsrooms still seem to be dominated by a male culture. This seems to be the case, in both print and digital realms, despite the fact university journalism programs often have more women than men students.

Also, disturbingly, young women in several career discussions this spring told me they feel more threatened than supported by women who are senior to them in their organizational hierarchies. They look to men and generational peers, they said, want they want mentoring.

Part of the problem may relate back to those of us who were among the early women to enter many professions. I was the first woman in Ohio University’s MBA program in the 1970s. And later I joined the first big wave of women who went to Georgetown Law School, and then on to Washington law firms. It was wonderful and exciting, but sometimes it was frightening as well. And the experience left scars.

Even where there was no hazing or explicit double standard, it could be exhausting and bewildering to join male teams where we weren’t really wanted. As a result, despite years of achievement, some “old girls” still experience surprising lapses in confidence. It can show up in little ways, such as: [Read more…] about The puzzle of career women who hesitate