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Bev's Tips for a Better Work Life

Tips for a more rewarding and resilient career

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productivity

Quit saying “If only”

Posted by Beverly Jones on September 30, 2017

 Two plaintive little words

can keep holding you back.

“If only I’d done more networking, I’d be able to find a new job.”

“If only they’d stop bothering me with trivial meetings, I could finish this project.”

“If only I’d gotten that promotion, I wouldn’t hate this company.”

“If only I were younger, I bet they’d listen.”

One of the more self-destructive phrases to use in discussing your work life is “if only.” And yet we hear it all the time, and maybe even say it ourselves.

These two words might simply mean that if we had done one thing we could have avoided big problems down the road. At times the assessment can be accurate, like if you find yourself saying, “If only I had studied I probably would have been a better student.”

But frequently the phrase is weighted with mournful meaning that goes far beyond what the words seem to say. “If only” can suggest that you are in despair about the past and are dissatisfied with the present. People who say “if only” seem to be throwing up their hands, casting blame for the current situation and declining responsibility for creating change.

“If only” resonates with woulda, coulda, shoulda. It feels like the speaker is bogged down in a yesterday that can’t be changed. Or is immersed in a today that is out of control, when what would be helpful is taking steps toward a better tomorrow.

Maybe you occasionally say “if only” out loud when you’re at work. Or perhaps it’s a silent refrain that pops into your head when you’re worrying in the middle of the night, making you to feel even more sorry for yourself.
You’ll be a happier, more productive person if you get over the “if only” habit. Start here:

  • Don’t use it as an excuse. You’ll sound like you’re not coping if you tell your boss or client, “If only we had more time we could do a better job.” Reword your sentence to suggest that you are aware of the problem and are taking action: “Here’s our plan to manage the time pressure.”
  • Don’t use it to throw blame on someone else. You may come across as a nag and undercut your goals if you say, “if only you could get to the office on time, we might get more done.” Instead, propose an action plan: “Let’s set the schedule so we can be sure to finish before the deadline.”
  • Don’t use it to avoid tough facts. It’s normal to wish that things were better, and to think, “if only I were smarter/thinner/younger/richer.” But you can actually make things better once you accept that you are what you are, or embrace the reality that the situation is what it is. When you hear the “if only” lament bubbling up, ask yourself: “What can I do today to start moving in a new direction?”
  • Refocus on the future: Saying “if only” can be a sign that you’re getting stuck in the past. If that sounds like you, then learn to resist the temptation to wallow in the same old set of problems.   First, think of a more useful phrase, like: “what do I do next?” Any time you feel “if only” on the tip of your tongue, replace the two words with your alternative phrase. And when you shift your attention to the future, work on your list of helpful action items.

When you are in an “if only” mood, it may be a sign that it’s time to rebalance the way you think about days gone by. For the next few days, try noticing how much attention you focus on the past, rather than looking to future or enjoying what is happening right now.

Bev wrote the Career Press best-seller, Think Like an Entrepreneur, Act Like a CEO. Her career podcast, Jazzed About Work, was produced by WOUB Digital and is heard on NPR.org.

Filed Under: career resilience, managing emotions, productivity, self management, self talk Tagged With: "In only", career success, personal growth, positivity

Tidy up that data overload

Posted by Beverly Jones on December 29, 2015

Too much information

can be overwhelming.

Learn to clean it up!

In my last post I talked about how clutter can drag us down and distract us from our most important priorities. We can gain so much when we can beat back that tumultuous tide of too much disorganized stuff!

Information can overload us. (image by vectorstory via Fotolia)

And there’s a particularly burdensome type of clutter in today’s workplace: the vast, unending flow of information that may seem urgent but can leave us feeling exhausted and more confused than ever.

That was a problem for “Sophie,” a busy manager working long hours in a competitive environment. She had just received a modest promotion, which meant that her small team of analysts would grow from three direct reports up to five. She’d wanted this broader responsibility, but now she wasn’t feeling happy about her expanded role. Sophie told me that she was already operating at her full capacity. So how could she possibly handle the additional work that would come along with her bigger job?

When, in the course of coaching, we looked at how Sophie was spending her workdays, it seemed that she was constantly struggling to sort through more information than she could possibly absorb. She wanted to understand each of her analyst’s projects, so she tried to stay current with what they were doing and all the material they were processing. She would listen carefully during her frequent meetings, just taking small breaks to check her phone messages. And throughout each day, no matter what she was working on, she’d turn repeatedly from her current projects in an attempt to carefully read and promptly deal with countless emails.

Sophie was suffering from information overload. She was so overwhelmed by all the details she was trying to digest that she had lost the ability to set reasonable priorities and concentrate on her most important goals. When she looked at her work patterns, she realized that it was time to make more realistic choices about how much she could do. She needed to let some things go, and to better manage the deluge of information that faced her every day.

Sophie was not alone. According to leading cognitive psychologist Daniel J. Levitin, in today’s world we’re often confronted by more information than our brains can handle. And the more cognitive load we struggle with, the more likely it is that we’ll make errors, lose our keys and have trouble with even small decisions.

Levitin tackles the problem of too much data in his wide-ranging book, “The Organized Mind – Thinking Straight in the Age of Information Overload.” He says that our old habits may cause us to be bogged down in mental clutter, so sometimes some areas need must be cleaned up and reorganized.

Here are some of Levin’s suggestions for managing the hyper flow of data:

  • Stop trying to multitask. Our brains evolved to do one thing at a time, Levitin says, and the idea that we can do several things at once is just a “diabolical illusion.” When we try to keep up with email while we’re working on a key project, there’s a cost. Our attempt to constantly change gears squanders our most valuable cognitive resource: attention. And at the same time our over-stimulated brain increases the production of stress hormones like cortisol. To do your best work, set aside blocks of time to concentrate on your top priorities, one at a time.
  • Know what’s good enough. Every day we’re confronted by countless small decisions, and handling them can wear us out. But for most questions, like what to do for lunch, we don’t need to make the best We just need to decide and move on. Levitin suggests that you stop wasting time choosing what to do about things that aren’t your top priority. Instead, become comfortable with the strategy of “satisficing,” which means that you quickly select a good enough option, even if it may not be the best possible one.
  • Get stuff out of your head. Like many productivity experts, Levitin argues that a fundamental principle of organizing is to shift the burden of managing information from our brains, out to the external world. Often this simply means that if you need to remember something you should write it down. One benefit is that writing things conserves the mental energy you might waste in worrying about forgetting them. And for many of us, handwritten notes seem to work best. Levitin says that he was surprised while researching to see how many people at the top of their professions always carry around a notepad or index cards for taking physical notes, instead of using electronic devices.
  • Take breaks. Research suggests that people who take a 15-minute break every couple of hours are much more efficient, in the long run, than their colleagues who never leave their desks. By briefly walking, or listening to music, or even napping, you can increase your productivity and creativity.
  • Delegate.  Most employees enjoy their work more and perform better if they have at least some autonomy. This is good news for managers, like Sophie, who struggle with information overload, because it underscores the value of pushing down more authority and empowering direct reports to exercise more judgment.

If the daily barrage of data leaves you more besieged than enlightened, it may be time for a cleanup. Recognize that some of those bytes are just clutter, and try new ways to manage all that information.

For more tips for a flourishing career, check out my new book, Think Like an Entrepreneur, Act Like a CEO.

Filed Under: career resilience, email, productivity, self improvement Tagged With: data management, information overload

Don’t get stuck in the past

Posted by Beverly Jones on October 27, 2015

How you live in time —

yesterday, today and tomorrow

— helps shape your career

I felt refreshed at the end of a phone call with a client I’ll call “Mark.” It wasn’t just because Mark, like many of my clients, is smart and likeable. What made the conversation energizing was listening to a person whose orientation to the continuum of time is so nicely balanced.

Mark is comfortable with his past and has fond memories of growing up within a big family. Of course, he has experienced career bumps over the years, and has faced discrimination and other types of unfairness. But he has come to regard his tougher moments as opportunities for learning.

For the future, Mark has a dream job in mind, and he seems remarkably confident that he’ll reach that goal when the time is right. It will take a while for him to get there because so many people are ahead of him in his organization’s hierarchy. But, he said, he’s in no hurry to move up the ladder because his “work/life balance is so perfect today.” Even though Mark cares passionately about the mission of his nonprofit employer, he sticks close to a 40-hour workweek because, for the moment, his top priority is being with his young family.

Not everyone has Mark’s healthy attitude about the past, present and future. As a coach, I often encounter clients whose focus on the timeline of life is impeding their career:

  • “Elaine” cannot distance herself from earlier career situations where, in her view, she was dealt with unfairly. Elaine often complains about past mistreatment, and her bitterness limits her ability to pursue current opportunities. And when she gets bogged down in endlessly recycling yesterday’s disappointments, Elaine bores her colleagues and has trouble engaging in the projects on her desk today.
  • “Jack” lives today fully, but doesn’t prepare for tomorrow. While Elaine’s coworkers tend to avoid her, Jack is popular wherever he goes. He is playful, funny and interested in whatever you’re doing right now. But Jack’s career is stalled because of the way he avoids assignments involving a lot of planning or tedious, front-end work.
  • Ambitious “Harry” is focused on the future but neglects the present. He is determined to rise to the top of his field and he’s a master of networking and self-promotion. But Harry spends so much time chasing opportunity that he often is sloppy about tasks on his plate right now. And despite his broad circle, Jack has few close friends because social activities without a professional focus strike him as a waste of time.

Executive coaches understand that, although you may not be conscious of it, the way you think about time can impact your behavior and attitudes, and profoundly influence the course of your career. Coaches often ask questions intended to help clients develop a clear, hopeful vision of their future, as well as a realistic sense of their priorities for today.

People with a positive and balanced perception of time tend to be effective performers in the workplace. And simply noticing ways that you focus on the continuum of time can help you to better set your perspective. The relationship between performance and time orientation is one focus of The Time Paradox, a fascinating 2008 book by psychologists Philip Zimbardo and John Boyd. According to these authors, research suggests that for a happy life and a successful career, the best time orientation is one that features:

  • A high past-positive and low past-negative time perspective. You can’t change your past but you can adjust your attitude about it. An upbeat view of the past can help you feel rooted and stable, but a negative preoccupation with old events can make you suspicious, risk-adverse and driven by guilt or a fear of all that is new or different.
  • A moderately high future time perspective. Being oriented toward the future means you are more likely to engage in appropriate planning and scheduling and better able to anticipate to challenges. This perspective is associated with strong reasoning, patience and self-control, and with a focus on goals. It allows you to envision days ahead filled with hope, optimism and power. The down side of an over-the-top preoccupation with the future is you may be unable to enjoy today’s activities and experiences.
  • A moderately high present hedonistic perspective. The authors say, “A hedonistic present gives you energy and joy about being alive…Present hedonism is life-affirming, in moderation.”

If you’re interested in seeing how your time perspective compares with the authors’ view of the optimum profile, you can go to their website and take the Zimbardo Time Perspective Inventory. If you don’t feel like answering their 56 questions, simply try noticing, for a few days, how much attention you focus on the past, the future and what’s happening right now.

Filed Under: career success, mindfulness, productivity, self improvement Tagged With: personal growth, time orientation

Is it time to rethink your organizational systems?

Posted by Beverly Jones on October 6, 2013

 

Having trouble getting it all done?

Give yourself a productivity tune-up. 

Do you have moments when the logistics of getting all your work done seem just too complicated?  Are there days when you’re juggling too many dates, tasks, relationships, goals … stuff? 

Even if you’re a naturally organized person, the systems you use for staying on top of things may occasionally need some maintenance.

When your organizational systems are breaking down, or you’re feeling overwhelmed by your workload, it’s time to tweak the way you do things.  [Read more…] about Is it time to rethink your organizational systems?

Filed Under: organizational techniques, productivity Tagged With: organizing, productivity tools

Try these tips for managing your habits

Posted by Beverly Jones on April 29, 2013

 

 How to change everything

by building new habits 

Deciding can be exhausting. Research suggests your brain has only so much stamina for making decisions in the course of a day.  And when your energy has been spent on big decisions at the office, it’s no wonder you can’t choose what to have for dinner, once you get home.

Our lives are so complicated it’s amazing we get along as well as we do.  Just getting up, getting ready, and commuting to work offers numerous decision points.  It’s enough to wear us out before we reach our desks.  

The reason we aren’t exhausted by just our normal routine is that we glide through much of it on automatic pilot.  Our conscious minds don’t have to actually make decisions about stuff like finding our way to work because our habits take over.  

Habits are routines we follow regularly, without having to think about it.  They allow our subconscious to take charge, giving our conscious self a rest. Our good habits help us to effortlessly make good choices.  They guide us as we manage our health, our calendars and our routine projects. But sometimes our habits put us in the wrong groove.  [Read more…] about Try these tips for managing your habits

Filed Under: building habits, personal growth, productivity, professional growth, self talk Tagged With: habits

Think like an entrepreneur and find new career success!

Posted by Beverly Jones on January 22, 2013

Think like an entrepreneur 
And find new career success!
 
If you are still contemplating your career goals or intentions for 2013, let me suggest a theme: entrepreneurial attitude. A new view is that entrepreneurship can be taught, and entrepreneurial literacy can foster success, regardless of your field.

Ohio University, where I’m connected to the Voinovich School of Leadership and Public Affairs, is one of the many institutions forging the new interdisciplinary academic field of entrepreneurship. Students no longer expect to spend their careers in one place. Whether they are engineers or journalists, they know they will need the knowledge, skills and flexibility to shift or redefine jobs with ease or even create their own enterprises. [Read more…] about Think like an entrepreneur and find new career success!

Filed Under: career transitions, encore careers, entrepreneurship, finding new energy, productivity Tagged With: entrepreneurship, executive coaching

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Beverly Jones is a master of reinvention. She started out as a writer, next led university programs for women, and then trail-blazed her career as a Washington lawyer and Fortune 500 energy executive. Throughout her varied work life she has mentored other professionals to grow and thrive.

Since 2002, Bev has flourished as an executive coach and leadership consultant, helping professionals of all ages to advance their careers, shift directions, and become more productive. Based in the nation's capital, she works with clients across the country, including accomplished leaders at major federal agencies, NGOs, universities and companies of all sizes. Bev is a popular speaker and facilitator, and she creates workshops and other events around the needs of her clients.

When she's not working, Bev is often found in Rappahannock County, Virginia, in the garden of the farmhouse she shares with her husband, former Washington Post ombudsman Andy Alexander, and their two dogs.

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