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• Self-deprecating speech. We may undercut our commanding presence by repeatedly using phrases like "I think," when a simple statement or request would be stronger.
• Risk aversion. When law, engineering and MBA programs were first opened to women, female students might hear, "It's important that you get all A's so the faculty will let in more women next year." Tiresome speeches like this sometimes translated to an unrealistic sense of responsibility, which was particularly painful if we felt like we were just hanging on. This is one reason some of us were too slow to take breakout career risks.
• Apologizing. When we felt unwelcome in the first place, some of us became too inclined to say “sorry,” even when we weren’t at fault. It was tempting to waste time and energy blaming ourselves when things weren't going well. For some, it is still a challenge to face problems quickly and move on to solutions.
• Bad hair days. Appearance often seems to matter more for women than for men. So we sometimes overreact if we don't feel at our best. It was like that when we were young, and today our appearance may seem overly important because women who don't seem put together could be dismissed as too old.

Many women who fought for professional acceptance decades ago, and went on to success after success, say they still experience surprising flashes of uncertainty. We wanted to push the doors wide open for the future generations of female careerists. But is it possible that we also have burdened them with some of our lingering insecurities?

Yes, we have come a long way. But there's still work to be done before we can count on an American workplace where gender seldom limits opportunities for growth. Here are things we can do:

• Keep talking. There’s an absence of good research and nobody truly understands the factors that add up to the lingering glass ceiling in so many sectors. Let's acknowledge the problem and keep up the dialogue, as we try to better understand it. This might mean new kinds of groups or workshops, or simply raising the discussion wherever we happen to be.
  
• Create new forms of mentoring. Since the 1970s, feminist activists have looked to mentoring programs as a way to move women smoothly up career ladders. Some programs have worked well but others have floundered, sometimes burdened with over-blown expectations. It's time to invent new ways of engaging, perhaps including reciprocal programs, where women of all ages can teach each other across generations and skill sets about everything from communicating with colleagues to managing social media.
• Get over it. Our language patterns and ways we hesitate have become habits. We can move beyond them. One way to change long-held patterns, and model new ones, is to recruit friends to notice how we speak and carry ourselves. With our permission, friendly coaches can remind us when it's time to reword our statements, or reshape our attitudes, in more positive ways.

• Keep a "love me" file. This is a handy place - also known as a "brag file" - where you immediately store a copy of any document that says something nice about you. I've seen a few "love me" files that are full of handwritten "thank you" notes and letters of praise from grateful clients. It's more likely that your file - whether it's in your desk drawer or the Cloud - will be a mixed bag. Include anything that commemorates good work or a positive evaluation, from casual "thanks" messages to press clips or training course certificates. If your file is empty, you might think about rounding up letters of reference or testimonials, just in case.
• Get real about "performance management." Your organization may have an annual performance appraisal process. Typically it begins with the establishment of goals, and ends when your progress towards those goals is evaluated in the context of a discussion about compensation. Often the process is pro forma, and nobody pays much attention to it. But that's a missed opportunity. Take charge of the process, and use it to get buy-in for things you actually want to do. Propose meaningful goals and routinely document your progress. You records will help you create a specific picture of your most important contributions.
• Count activities and results. Your resume, activity reports and project summaries will be more useful and impressive if you include relevant numbers. Let's say you're a PR manager and a prolific writer. You can tell a prospective employer that you blog frequently and write lots of press releases. But wouldn't it be more effective to say that in the last six months you've posted 60 blog items, averaging 10,000 views each, and you've sent out 83 releases resulting in at least 327 media clips? If you keep a running log of frequent and important activities, you'll always be able to show off what you've done in a powerful, streamlined way.
• Note problems and solutions. Not everything you deal with generates good fodder for your "love me" file. At times you may have to address controversies or complaints, or even clean up a mess after you make the wrong call. Smart professionals face up to tough issues and find a way to remedy errors. As time goes by, however, other people may remember the problem but not what was done to manage it. So you may need another file as well, for matters you've successfully handled. When the road gets bumpy, put a note in the "handled" file describing the problem and documenting how you dealt with it.

1. Can you talk yourself into confidence? People with executive presence seem confident and poised to handle whatever may come up. But a superb record may not be enough to give professionals a belief in their own ability to master the next crisis. And even if they do know they can perform, that knowledge may not be apparent to others.

   I’m thinking of “Lydia,” whose concern about details translates into successful projects. But Lydia was such a perfectionist that, when handed a new assignment, she immediately started fretting about the best way to get going. Lydia usually knew she could do the work, but because of her worried demeanor she didn’t appear confident.

   Whether you fear you can’t do the job, or have other nagging concerns, like Lydia, other people can sense your uncertainty. It’s reflected in the expressions on your face, the way you move, and the tone of your voice.

   You’ll seem more like a leader if you put aside your worries and generate an inner sense of confidence. An effective way to do this is to actively manage the voice in your head. You do that with “self-talk.” Let go of thoughts about things that could go wrong, and talk to yourself like you would to a valued colleague. Say things like: “You always solve the big problems and you can solve this one, too.”

   As for Lydia, she used two techniques for enhancing her presence. Before entering a meeting or event, she would define her intent for the occasion. It might be something like, “I’m going to raise point X and come across as interested and positive.” Then she’d encourage herself with self-talk, like, “This point is important and you’re confident and optimistic about it.” Lydia’s bosses noticed her growth, and they gave her a big promotion.

2. Do you have a leadership vision? It’s easier to act like a leader when you have a clear sense of the attributes that strong leaders possess. If you can’t easily describe your idea of what makes a leader, list characteristics you admire, like reliability, honesty and a positive attitude. Look at your list frequently, so that you’re reminded to act more like that.
3. Do you look organized? If you’re typically late, if your papers are a mess, and if you have trouble meeting deadlines, then your presence is compromised. Others may see you as disorganized and unable to get the job done. “Suzy” is a creative communications consultant who thought of herself as a ditzy, creative type. She’d explain away her lateness by saying, “oh, you know us artists.” But finally she realized that her firm’s partners regarded her as a bit out of control. She saw they weren’t going to promote her to the role of client manager until something changed. Suzy got her calendar and other systems in order. And she told her colleagues that she was working with a coach to become more productive and organized. She reshaped her brand, and soon she was managing client accounts.
4. Do you need a makeover? It may not be fair, but physical appearance is an integral part of presence. To look like an executive, it helps to be well groomed and well dressed. If your clothes are dated and untidy, or your hair is always messy, you may come across as unpolished and not executive material.
5. Can you make a presentation? The ability to give a speech or contribute useful remarks at a meeting will enhance your presence. Of course, you have to be clear and concise. But it’s also important to know how to engage with other people. Present your points in a way that makes them relevant to the audience. Listen carefully to questions and comments, and respond without becoming defensive.
6. Do you say what you mean? Whether you’re speaking to a crowd or chatting one-on-one, you’ll have more gravitas if you speak directly, without hesitation or self-deprecation. Ask colleagues to notice the way you talk, so they can help you spot self-critical phrasing or annoying habits like starting sentences with “I think,” or, “I’m not an expert, but.” If you sound like you’re not confident of your abilities or of what you’re saying, you can’t expect others to be convinced.
7. How’s your energy? Managing your presence requires taking charge of your energy level. If you’re sleep deprived, bored or way out of shape, you’re less likely to come across as a leader. Being frantic isn’t good either, because your hyper-activity can translate into stress for those around you. To appear more powerful, be serious about health and fitness, and stay calm with practices like meditation.