Bev's Tips for a Better Work Life

Tips for a more rewarding and resilient career

For almost 20 years, Bev has been coaching
professionals to thrive at work, navigate
transitions and grow as leaders.

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Smart entrepreneurs know the power of communities

Posted by Beverly Jones on

Being active in communities

can help your career to thrive

When I meet new clients, it’s sometimes easy to spot the ones who’re enjoying resilient careers. Whether they’re solopreneurs creating their own thing, or professionals making their way through large organizations, people with thriving work lives tend to share some of the same characteristics, like a positive attitude and an ability to listen.

As I chat further with clients, one thing I want to know is whether they consciously manage their networks. While most people know that networking means building strong personal and professional relationships, the most well connected people go even further. They not only create and care for individual relationships, person by person, but they also understand the power of their broader communities.

A “community” is a group that has members, rather than a collection of unconnected people. While membership may be informal or unacknowledged, the members of the community are linked by common values, interests or history. And often they have some feeling of belonging, as well as a sense that they matter – that they can make a difference to the group.

Among your communities are your neighbors, people with a background or interest similar to yours, professionals who share your training and expertise, and members of the clubs and associations you’ve formally joined. Your communities are packed with people you haven’t even met. But when you approach someone as a part of your group, it’s unlikely that he’ll treat you like a stranger. Your communities are a source of business intelligence, clients, customers, mentors, introductions and friends.

There’s a growing body of research that links good health with your degree of social connection. That reflects not just relationships within your inner circle, but also your interaction with far-flung communities. Reasons for the health impact might be that supportive communities can help us to manage stress, gain perspective and maintain healthy habits.

Beyond that, your emotions and behaviors can be influenced by the emotions and behaviors of those in your extended communities.   Research on human networks suggests that your attitude and habits may be shaped not only by your close contacts, but also by your contacts’ contacts and their contacts, as well.   If the people in your communities are energetic, accommodating and creative, their positive vibes can be contagious, assisting you to stay upbeat as you push your boundaries.

Successful entrepreneurs are often particularly attuned to their business, customer and social communities, looking to them for inspiration, technical knowledge, referrals, and empathy. Photographer Molly Peterson, is a fine example of a modern entrepreneur who is investing in her communities as she continues to invent her multifaceted career.

Molly Peterson & friends. Photo by Mike Peterson.

Molly’s documentary-style photos are beautiful and authentic, and have been widely published. She’s known particularly for her food and farm shots, and she took the pictures for “Growing Tomorrow,” a new book with portraits of 18 sustainable farmers. Photography is only one of Molly’s professions. She and her husband run Heritage Hollow Farms, where they raise grass-fed livestock and also operate a farm store in Sperryville, a village in Rappahannock County, Virginia.

Although it seems like two active careers would take up all Molly’s time, she’s one of those natural givers and connectors, active both in community nonprofit groups and in online networks. Everything seems to work together. It was through customer and online communities that Molly came up with one of the Farms’ distribution channels. She noticed that many Washington, DC, residents care about the benefits of sustainable meat but can’t always make the two-hour drive to Sperryville or be available for a scheduled delivery. So she arranged for meat orders to be delivered to freezers installed in Washington area Crossfit Gyms.

When I asked Molly why she’s so active around the County, despite her heavy work schedule, she said, “Iwas taught from a young age from both of my parents to be curious, connected, and ‘well rounded.’ They were both entrepreneurs… I’ve always been curious and interested in a world outside of my own: why do people do what they do, is there a deeper reason for it, what makes them ‘tick’. I also feel it never hurts to ask; nothing frustrates me more than when I’m told that something can’t be done simply because that isn’t the way it’s usually done.”

Molly also said, “Outside of my careers I have a genuine care and concern for my community and the

Heritage Hollow Farm Store in Sperryville, VA

Earth and how to make it better, more joy-filled, healthier – whether that’s through my photography as art, through the way we raise our livestock that ultimately feeds families, or through my time.”

Staying in touch with a range of supportive communities can be key to building your resilient career. These strategies can help you to build stronger community involvement:     

  • Identify your communities. Start by listing groups of people with whom you’re already associated. This might include your college or other alumni groups, professional associations, neighborhood committees, and even online groups. Then think about your interests or favorite activities, and search for additional organizations of like-minded people. If you’re an Italian-American who likes to raise herbs and cook, look around for a garden club, a gourmet group, or an Italian-American association.
  • Become active. Consider organizations where you are now a member, as well as others you might join, and target several where you’ll raise your profile and build relationships. Next, watch for opportunities where you can make a contribution. This might mean volunteering for a service project, joining a committee, or simply attending functions.
  • Care about an issue. Many communities are built around causes or local needs. If your family has been touched by cancer, you may want to join a committee that raises money for research. The best way to get to know people can be working with them to address a problem you all care about.
  • Be a mentor. To connect with a younger crowd or make your network more diverse, offer to serve as a mentor. Contact a professional association, or get in touch directly with someone who is starting something new and volunteer to share your skill set or serve as an advisor.
  • Give money. If you’re overwhelmingly busy right now, you can quietly begin to build name recognition by making contributions to nonprofit groups. If your name shows up repeatedly on donor lists, group leaders may eventually beg you to become more actively involved.

Maintaining your connections with multiple communities is not just about your career. By investing in your communities you’ll be forging a support system that can help you through the tougher times and make the good days even more enjoyable.

Smiling can make your day and boost your career

Posted by Beverly Jones on

This one little thing

can turn around your day

In his popular 1936 book, How to Win Friends & Influence People, Dale Carnegie offered advice for becoming popular, persuasive and successful. Among the book’s well-known techniques is Principle 2 of his “Six Ways to Make People Like You.” That rule is brief: “Smile.”

Carnegie quoted this Chinese proverb: “a man without a smiling face must not open a shop.” Your smile, he said, “is a messenger of your goodwill,” and a simple way to make a good impression. Carnegie advised us to smile even when we don’t feel like it, because action and feeling go together. If we smile we’ll feel happier, and those around us may as well.

In the roughly 80 years since Carnegie drafted Principle 2, psychologists and other scientists have undertaken countless studies of the human smile. In her fascinating book, “Why Smile?“ social psychologist Marianne LaFrance examined research getting at “what makes smiles so powerful, and powerfully consequential.”

You smile at me, and I’ll smile back at you

It seems that the phenomenon is more complicated than Carnegie realized. LaFrance explains that your smile and the message it carries are shaped in part by your culture. For example, in the American South people smile often, and to stone-faced northeasterners their friendly demeanors may come across as fake. Also, immediate circumstances can shift the way your expression is interpreted. Normally your smile is positive for the person who receives it. But if you flash a big grin when you win the game, it might get under your rival’s skin.

Despite the complexities, however, the research affirms that “smile!” is often excellent career advice. Here are some why’s and how’s of smiling:

  • It feels good. Smiling can increase the release of endorphins and other mood-enhancing hormones. It can calm your heart rate and blood pressure, reduce stress, contribute to a heightened sense of well-being, and support good health.
  • It looks good. When you smile, there’s a better chance other people will perceive you as attractive, likable and memorable. They are also more likely to find you approachable and see you as trustworthy. And they’ll think you look younger.
  • It’s contagious. We are hardwired to mirror each other’s happy looks. When you smile at colleagues or clients, they may automatically return your expression. More importantly, as you exchange smiles with another person, the two of you connect in a more fundamental way. They actually experience the positivity underlying your smile, and as a result could be more satisfied with your conversation.
  • It spreads. If your smile makes a team member feel good, his mood will improve and he’ll be more likely to smile at the next face he sees. The wave of good feeling can become viral, moving from one person to another.
  • Even fakes work. The most powerful smiles are genuine, emanating from deep within you. But social smiles, that require some effort on your part, are effective as well. And they can start a virtuous cycle. If you struggle to smile, but then I smile back, you will respond to my facial expression. Soon your tentative smile can become heartfelt.
  • You can get better at it. The more you practice a positive expression, the more likely it is that you’ll experience spontaneous smiles. The trick is to start your smile from the inside, by thinking about something that makes you feel good. Simple techniques include summoning up the image of a loved one, or remembering a particularly happy event.

If you smile more regularly, the new habit can retrain your brain to see the world in more optimistic ways. The new dose of positivity might boost your creativity and help you to be more productive. An excellent way to get started is to begin each morning with a smile. When you first wake up, summon up a happy thought and practice your best grin. Then your smiles will come more easily for the rest of the day.

 

Get the Jimmy Fallon touch: Be known for good manners

Posted by Beverly Jones on

It’s not just about sipping tea.

Good manners can set you apart.

I was delighted to hear a radio commentator report that The National League of Junior Cotillions selected Jimmy Fallon to top its “Best-Mannered List for 2014.”

According to the League’s website, Fallon was selected as number one “for maintaining the dignity and respect of others through his comedic disposition as host of ‘The Tonight Show.'”

I couldn’t agree more. Part of what makes Fallon so charming is that he invariably seems delighted to be with his guests and determined to help them look good. Much of our enjoyment comes from his intense interest in their success and his whole body laughter at their jokes.

Even if you don’t think he’s funny, how can you help liking Jimmy Fallon? Perhaps social manners like his are so appealing because they are a low-key application of the Golden Rule. The way he interacts with other people seems to say: I’ll be nice to you and I have confidence that you’ll be nice to me.

The ideals of polite behavior may not be discussed in your workplace. But you’ll get the picture if someone describes a colleague as “a real gentleman,” or “a true lady.” We like and enjoy being around polite people because they tend to notice us and are so aware of our needs.

Good manners can start with “thank you”

For a personal brand that sets you apart from the crowd, learn from Fallon. Develop a reputation for treating everyone with respect. Of course what counts most are the big things, like pitching in to support your colleagues in a crisis. But you can enhance your brand by consistently exhibiting good manners in even small ways:

  • Say “hello.” When we are around other people, it’s decent to acknowledge their presence. Your rude coworkers may act like others are invisible. But with a simple “good morning” you can forge a sense of connection and goodwill.
  • Speak with basic courtesy. Your habits of speech say a lot about you:
    • Be quick to say “please” and “thank you,” to everyone.
    • Say “excuse me” if you bump into or must interrupt someone.
    • Avoid profanity and crude language.
    • Praise or congratulate folks on their achievements, even if it requires you to bite back a twinge of envy.
  • Be considerate of others’ time. When people are busy it’s unkind to waste their minutes and hours:
    • Be punctual for meetings and appointments.
    • Respond quickly to invitations (to save time spent on follow-up).
    • Don’t waste time with rants or lengthy accounts of small matters.
    • Don’t play with your phone during a meeting or conversation.
  • Treat colleagues with class: The way you talk about others can shape your reputation:
    • Don’t gossip with coworkers about coworkers.
    • Don’t bad-mouth your boss, your team or your organization.
    • Share credit, paying special attention to junior team members whose work might otherwise go unnoticed.
  • Debate with civility. Disagreement is part of the creative process and responsible professionals aren’t afraid to speak up. But that’s no excuse for being mean:
    • Express criticism in terms of the work or the concept, and avoid making it about the person.
    • When possible, frame your comments in a positive way.
    • Avoid sarcasm because it’s seldom amusing and can lead to misunderstandings.
    • Let the other speak, genuinely listen to their views and imagine what it’s like from their perspective.

People with the Jimmy Fallon touch support cultures where everyone can perform well, enjoy work and collaborate with one another. And other people like being around them.

 

8 vital tips for starting a new job

Posted by Beverly Jones on

 To launch a new job

you need a good plan

Are you looking forward to your first day in a different job? Or maybe you’re preparing to welcome a new colleague?

My worst first day at work was 30 years ago, but I still remember it vividly. I was a few years out of law school and shifting to a new firm in the nation’s capital. The title on my business card read “partner,” instead of “associate,” in deference to the clients I was able to bring along with me.

Well in advance, I caught up with all my own client activities. On the day, I arrived in a new suit, with an empty briefcase, eager to make a good impression in the Washington office of this Virginia firm. But the attorneys who had interviewed me all were out of the office that day, and nobody else seemed pleased to meet me.

Being prepared can help you quickly feel welcome (image by thinglass via Fotolia)

I found my way to the most senior Washington partner and introduced myself. Before quickly dismissing me he said, “At the interviews they all thought you were so great, but frankly I don’t see it. You’re going to have to prove yourself before anybody here gives you work.”

The first friendly word was from the kind firm administrator, who took me to lunch and warned me about a few things. She told me that there had been controversy over my title. And she hinted that, in this male-dominated firm, both attorneys and support staff would need some time to get used to the idea of working with a woman lawyer.

The cool welcome was a challenge, but the most uncomfortable part of the day was that I had absolutely nothing to do. This was back before there was a web to surf, and I struggled to look busy. Instead of hustling over the weekend to finish my client work, I should have prepared a long list of things to do.

That night, I called my father, holding back tears. Thinking to cheer me up, he described his experience with new jobs: “The first day is always the worst day. The first week is always the worst week. The first month is the worst month. And the first year is the worst year.”

I don’t buy into the pessimism embedded in Dad’s view of new jobs. But in that case he was prophetic. In successive days, weeks, months and years my life in the firm continued to improve, and I soon felt fully accepted. But things got better partly because I learned a critical lesson. I went to work on my second day with a plan of how I would keep busy, and I never again assumed that the firm leaders would carry the responsibility for my success.

These days I find it hard to imagine even a law firm making so little effort on employee orientation. Often, in a process human resource experts call “onboarding,” organizations develop elaborate plans to assure that a new hire can quickly get to know key insiders and stakeholders, learn about performance expectations, and become familiar with the culture. Leaders may work hard to help recruits get a feel for the environment and develop realistic expectations about their roles.

But even when you’re supported by onboarding pros, at the start of a new job it makes sense to have your own plan. And whether you are joining a new company or changing slots in the same outfit, you can ease your entry into a new position by focusing on basic principles of workplace success:

  1. Learn what your boss wants. Perhaps at the start your boss will be vague about what she needs from you. Of course, you should ask about your expected deliverables and the best way to report on your progress. But don’t count on clear, complete answers. Do some detective work as well. Notice how your boss interacts with her other direct reports, what she typically wants to know, and how she sends information up the line. Get a sense of what she must do in order to be successful, and look for ways to help. Study the organization’s mission and consider how your contribution — and hers — fit within the big picture.
  2. Get to know people. When managers and professionals run into trouble with new positions or projects it’s generally not because they don’t have the technical skills. They are more likely to fail because they misunderstand the culture or don’t establish working relationships with the right people. During your first months be methodical as you reach out to teammates, customers and anybody else with information to share.
  3. Listen and learn. When you meet individuals and attend meetings, ask questions and actively listen to each new person. Resist the urge to talk about yourself and your successes in the old job. Keep an open mind, avoid offering criticism before you understand the history, and be cautious about choosing sides among warring factions.
  4. Set short-term goals. As you start to feel that your feet are on the ground, create realistic objectives for your first few months, then for the first year. Reconfirm your understanding of your boss’s expectations, focus on areas that seem to be high priority, and identify some relatively easy near-term achievements. Don’t try to do everything at once, but identify specific preliminary steps — like introductory meetings — to move you in the right direction.
  5. Do what you say you will. One of the worst ways to start out is to create a trail of broken promises. Deliver on every commitment you make, no matter how small. For example, if you offer to make a phone call or send along information, do so immediately.
  6. Be on time. A simple way to demonstrate respect and enthusiasm is to meet all deadlines and show up on time for every meeting and appointment. This can be more challenging than usual if you’re following a different schedule and in an unfamiliar environment. But it’s worth the extra effort.
  7. Adjust your attitude. It’s not unusual to experience a letdown soon after you start your job. Once you are beyond the excitement of the move, you may realize that not everything is meeting your expectations. If you get the feeling that the honeymoon is over, it will be time to make an important choice. You can give in to your disappointment and become preoccupied with how they’ve let you down. Or you can choose to focus on the positive aspects of your situation and commit yourself to doing what it takes to reach your goals.
  8. Manage stress. Recognize that the process of adjusting to your new assignment will involve moments of uncertainty, which can translate into a high level of stress. Have a plan for managing anxiety, and be sure to include a fitness program. You may feel like you have no time to work out, but that’s shortsighted. The time you spend on keeping your cool and boosting your energy is an investment in success.

It’s more common than it used to be to have an onboarding program and first year roadmap. But even if that’s the case, keep your personal objectives in mind as well. Ask yourself: what do I need to do to get off to a great start? And what are the next steps?

 

When to stop worrying about status

Posted by Beverly Jones on

Your best work adventures may begin

when you stop worrying about status

It’s normal to want respect from our colleagues. In his classic theory of human motivation, psychologist Abraham Maslow identified the need for esteem as a basic driver of human behavior. And leaders understand how important it can be for team members to feel accepted and valued by the group.

At work, the desire to look like a winner can keep us hustling when we secretly want to just throw in the towel. And praise and appreciation from our peers can make it all feel worth it, once a big push is finished.

Of course the desire to move up and look good brings energy to your career. But sometimes the desire for status or accolades can waste your time or lead you to the wrong choices. Here are five situations when the wiser move may be to let go of your all-too-human yearning for standing or prestige:

  1. When you’re the leader. Have you worked for a manager who was preoccupied with the privileges of her position? Perhaps she’d insist on an early meeting, but then show up late and play with her phone once the discussion began. Weak leaders may play power games to underscore their high station. Stronger leaders tend to treat everyone with respect, focus on the work, and forget about trappings of rank.

  2. When you get a promotion. In the first months of a new role, it may be tempting to talk a lot, to demonstrate your qualifications and knowledge. And it can feel reassuring to show off the power that comes with senior standing. But now that you have the position, be modest about it and concentrate on listening, learning and building relationships.
  3. When a job change could bring opportunities. The idea that your career should keep you moving up some kind of hierarchical ladder is old-fashioned and can be self-destructive. These days, our long professional lives are more complicated and may include lateral shifts and even fresh starts. If you’re starting to feel stuck or insecure on your current track, be open to a change in direction. A short-term loss of grade or title is a small price to pay for a shift that could recharge your professional life. Tell yourself to put aside concerns about what other people think. Eventually smart observers will recognize a good strategic move.
  4. When you’re ready to reinvent yourself. If you want to smoothly navigate a major work life transition, the starting point may be your willingness to look like a beginner. I struggled with this when I chose to retire from law and business and start a new career as an executive coach. As an attorney, I drew confidence from my areas of expertise. I had to reframe my thinking before I was comfortable going back to school to learn something new.
  5. When you feel anxious or obsessed. It’s healthy to want respect from others, but self-respect is even more important. If you need public recognition in order to feel good about yourself, it may be time for reflection or counseling. A neurotic need for prestige, or an outsize fear of embarrassment, can make you miserable and jeopardize the success you want so much.

If you find yourself frequently worrying about the symbols of your status, maybe it’s time to find a new balance? A simple exercise is to make a list of things in your life that matter most, like your relationships, your good health, the activities that keep you going, and your spiritual life.

 

Kerry Hannon shows you how to love your job

Posted by Beverly Jones on

Feeling the workplace blues?

Try 7 tips  for making work fun again

Author Kerry Hannon has written two books and countless articles about following your heart to find the work you love. In the last few years Hannon has traveled across the country, interviewing folks who have reinvented their work lives and speaking frequently about how to navigate career transitions.

Kerry Hannon

Hannon says that many people love the dream of starting over with a different kind of career. But the truth is that often a big shift may not be practical. In her latest book, Hannon has changed gears to focus on how you can make your current job more satisfying.

“Love Your Job – The New Rules for Career Happiness“ is Hannon’s guide for people looking to find or reignite purpose and joy in their work. She says, “If you want to be happier, you have to do something, to take action.” That doesn’t always mean a big swerve from the past. “It does, however, often call on the courage to make necessary but sometimes uncomfortable and even painful changes.”

If you want to find more fun and meaning at work, here are seven ways to get started:

  1. Begin with a journal. Hannon suggests you dedicate a notebook or computer file to your “Job Remodeling Journal.” Launch your effort by writing for 20 minutes every day for a week. Let yourself go, as you talk about what you’d love to see in your dream job. Perhaps you might list people who seem happy at work so you can ask them about what they love in their career. Next, try writing about the times your professional life was most rewarding. Hannon recommends that you create a “budget” in which you list the pros and cons at work. From there, start planning action steps for building on the best parts of your job and addressing the liabilities.
  2. Know when it’s burnout. Sometimes you’re feeling miserable but the problem is not really that you hate your job. As you journal you may realize that the biggest issue is that you’re just too tired. Job burnout can be experienced as physical, emotional or mental exhaustion combined with self-doubt and uncertainty about the value of your work. If you’re feeling burned-out, the solution must start with you, and goes beyond what happens at the office. Consider taking a vacation, or perhaps a series of shorter breaks. And look closely at your health and fitness programs.
  3. Stop complaining. According to Hannon, “It’s remarkably easy to fall into the trap of whining and grumbling about a boss, coworker, or employer, but it rarely makes things better.” Her advice is blunt: “Do something. Get over it.” Sometimes you can’t make progress until you “stop the looping chatter.” Hannon suggests that you read over your journal, looking for the specific things you can change. Start working on those aspects of your job by identifying small steps.
  4. Get in shape financially. Human resources professionals say that personal financial challenges are a frequent cause of employee stress, poor health and low productivity. If money problems keep you up at night, your work suffers. On the other hand, Hannon says, being financially fit gives you the freedom to make choices. As a result, “You are not trapped and held ransom by your paycheck.” Hannon urges you to do what it takes to eliminate debt. The relief can transform your work life.
  5. Enrich your job. Hannon says if you make a number of small tweaks to your current job it will become more interesting and full of opportunity. As a start, stay informed about the trends in your field. “Just being in the know can inspire you to think of projects and tasks.” Also, find ways to do even more of the kind of work you like best. And at the same time search for additional kinds of duties. When they ask you to take on another task, “accept the invitation gratefully … and then figure out how to do it,” she says. Another strategy for job enhancement is to network more actively with colleagues. Reach out to people you don’t know well, look your coworkers in the eye, find opportunities to smile and chat, and keep building new connections.
  6. Create more flexibility. “When I ask people to name one thing that would make them happier about their jobs, they say independence in some way, shape or form,” Hannon says. The option to work flexibly gives us a sense of autonomy, and that is a good way to make your work life immensely more enjoyable. Two increasingly popular ways to give you back some control are telecommuting and flexible work schedules. “When you feel trapped and micromanaged in your office environment, the sense of control of your own time and virtual freedom can do wonders to help you get reconnected with your work again,” she says.
  7. Learn new tricks. “If you’re feeling stuck in your job and don’t know what to do next, charge up your brain cells,” Hannon says. Even if you have only a hazy notion of what interests you, start exploring libraries, classes or the Web and learn something new.

The core message Hannon wants you to take away from her book is that “you can turn it around and rebound from your malaise or grim work environment.You have to own it. You consciously choose whether to continue being unhappy or pick an alternate path and change it up, even if it’s in baby steps.”

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