Sometimes our stress is magnified because our culture can feel lonely, making us reluctant to intrude on others’ time and causing us to believe that there’s no help in sight.

Even if we’re blessed with great spouses, we may spend long hours alone commuting to, preparing for and struggling with our jobs. Already feeling isolated because of long work hours, we may make things worse by dedicating much “free” time to working by ourselves to maintain our homes and complicated lifestyles.

Do you long for more support? For a sense that there is a community you can rely upon when the going gets rough? And yet, do you feel reluctant to impose on people by asking for help, even when a little effort by somebody else could make a big difference in your life?

Your friends and acquaintances probably feel much like you do. One way you can make things better is to gather a few people and propose that you change the rules about asking each other for help. If you all agree that it is OK to ask for certain kinds of help, it could ease the burden for everybody.

Let’s take an example of neighbors who all have dogs. Susan is faced with a surprise client dinner, and her first thought is about how her puppy must be let out by 6 p.m. Driving home and back in rush hour traffic could take hours, but her problems are gone if she can ask a neighbor to spend 10 minutes with her pet.

In an emerging trend, a growing number of stressed professionals are starting to talk with their friends, relatives and colleagues about ways in which they can offer each other a little more help. If you’re thinking about ways to get by with more help from your friends, consider these suggestions:

• Understand that people like to help. Most people enjoy being able to help others in small ways. When you are able to easily assist others you tend to feel good about them and have a continuing interest in their future. If you observe your own attitudes, you may find that you develop at least as great an interest in somebody you have helped as in somebody who has helped you.
  
  
• Accept “no.” One reason we are reluctant to ask for help is that we fear rejection. If you’re going to ask for assistance, prepare for the possibility that it won’t be convenient for the other person to say “yes.” Others may decline to help because of things going on in their lives, and it won’t be about you. If you and your friends propose to give each other more help, agree in advance that it is always OK to say “no,” and nobody’s feelings will be hurt.
  
  
• Know when to say “no.” Another reason we hesitate to call on others for help is that we know what it is like to be annoyed by a pest who constantly begs for assistance. Part of managing the help-giving process in your life is to say “no” to those whiney folks who are always demanding more than their share. When you learn how to say “no” gracefully, you’ll also learn something about how to better manage your own requests.
  
  
• Delegate requests. People will be particularly eager to help when you’re faced with a serious medical or other emergency. But in the midst of the crisis you may not have the energy to seek and organize effective help. So ask one friend to seek help from the others. As you make your request, know that it will be easier for your friend to seek help for another person than it would be to ask for herself.
  
  
• Pay back indirectly. If you offer help easily and frequently, you’ll find it easier to seek assistance when you need it. But you won’t necessarily get help from the people whom you have assisted. You can probably count on payback, but it may not reach you directly. It’s as if you maintain a goodwill account within the Universe. If you help others easily and frequently, your account will be full when you need to make a big withdrawal.