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Dear Friends and Clients, More than once I've become attached to a restaurant because a certain waiter always made me feel so good. When I shop at the local gourmet store I often choose my checkout line not by its length, but rather by the clerk's attitude. And recently I lost my allegiance to a dry cleaner because the clerk with the sunny smile finally retired. Some people can make us feel better in an instant, but other people can bring us down without saying a word. Even if we're not aware of it, our moods rise and fall in the course of a day because of the way we bump against other people, and the vibes they give off can change our behavior. New tools are helping brain scientists and biologists explain just how our daily encounters with others may impact not just our moods but also cells and systems throughout our bodies. And as I'll discuss in this issue, by becoming more conscious of the way people “catch” each other's emotions we can better manage even our most casual relationships. Warm wishes, |
Emotions Are Catching, But |
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April 3rd, 2007 * Number 57 |
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We are wired to connect with one another. The recent work of neuroscientists has demonstrated that our brains are actually designed to be sociable. In other words, when we engage with other people, at some unconscious level, our brains become linked. In his latest book, Social Intelligence, psychologist Daniel Goleman explains that, even in routine meetings with another person, our brains connect. And, Goleman says, during these neural hookups “our brains engage in an emotional tango, a dance of feelings.” Perhaps most astonishingly, the feelings that flow from even routine social interactions “have far-reaching consequences that ripple throughout our body, sending out cascades of hormones that regulate biological systems from our heart to our immune cells.” This pattern of linkage can have vast consequences. Research suggests that a positive, nourishing relationship can boost our health, but toxic ones can hit our bodies like poison. One line of research, for example, demonstrates that the more we socialize the less susceptible to colds we become. Even though we may be exposed to more cold viruses, vibrant social connections boost our good moods, suppress stress hormones and enhance our immune function. Looking at this from another perspective, if we are leading other people, or simply managing the relationships that shape our own lives, we have new reasons to be conscious of the way our words and attitudes can impact others. Goleman uses the term “social intelligence” to describe the collection of abilities that enable us to be effective in managing our social interactions. In his view, “social intelligence” has two major sets of components:
In practical terms, just being aware of the contagious nature of emotions may help us to act with greater social intelligence. Here are additional strategies for employing and developing your social intelligence: | |||||||||
Want to Read More About Below are links that will allow you to buy two books directly from Amazon.com. For reviews of other helpful books, along with Amazon links, go to: ClearWays Books and Services. If you buy a book this way it will contribute to the cost of distributing Bev’s Tips, and be much appreciated.
Social Intelligence – The New Science of Human Relationships In his best seller, Emotional Intelligence, Goleman made a strong case that the very best leaders are socially aware, empathetic to others, and adept at managing their own emotional states. His work had enormous impact on the way many experts view leadership and evaluate leaders. In this latest book, Goleman shifts his focus from individual psychology to examine what happens in the course of social interactions. Calling upon recent findings of “social neuroscience,” he explores ways in which the brain drives social behavior, as well as the impact our social world has on our brain and biology. “Social intelligence,” Goleman says, means that we are not just intelligent about our relationships, but also intelligent in them.
How Full is Your Bucket? - Positive Strategies for Work and Life Even before the recent breakthroughs in neural science, “positive psychology” experts like Don Clifton built a convincing case that positive emotions can have enormous impact, from increasing your workplace productivity to extending your life. In this, his last work, Clifton (with his grandson Tom Rath) used a simple metaphor to illustrate how you can generate positive moments and reduce negativity. It’s like you have a bucket, they say, and you are at your best when your bucket is overflowing, but at your worst when it’s empty. You also have a dipper that you can use to fill or empty others’ buckets. And the great thing is that when you fill somebody else’s, you fill your bucket at the same time. This very slim book relies on years of research by the Gallup Organization to offer simple strategies for “bucket filling” – for creating positive moments at work and in life. A key point is that every interaction counts, no matter how brief.
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Bev’s Tips for a Better Work Life is published on the first and third Tuesday of each month by Beverly Jones, a lawyer and former executive who coaches accomplished leaders and professionals to bring new direction and energy to their work lives. |
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Copyright ©2007, ClearWays Consulting, LLC & Beverly E. Jones. All rights in all media reserved. However, the content of Bev’s Tips for a Better Work Life may be forwarded in full without special permission on the condition that (1) it is for non-profit use and (2) full attribution and copyright notice are given. For other uses please contact Bev Jones. |
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Our address is: 2925 43rd Street, NW, Washington, DC 20016. |
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, by Daniel Goleman, 2006.
