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Dear Friends and Clients,

I’m getting ready to celebrate my 60th birthday in July. Although still a bit surprised that time could move so swiftly, I’m looking forward to the party, and I’m prepared to launch my next decade.

This will be the third time I’ve marked a big birthday with a public celebration and a private commitment to make some changes and set new goals. The process began in my late 30s, when my 40th birthday seemed to loom as the end of everything cool.

I decided that I’d have to redefine “cool,” so I adjusted my attitude and entered into a wonderful new era. Because turning 50 seemed even more daunting, I started getting ready well in advance. I spent a year becoming more fit and developing interests and practices that would shape my next phase.

I’ve made most of the plans for this year’s party, but I’m still preparing for the new decade that the party will mark. I now understand that -- while crises and challenges are inevitable – I can choose much about the person I’ll be and the life that I’ll live during my 60s.

Birthdays and other anniversaries can be tremendous opportunities for change because, as symbols, they capture our attention and stimulate reflection. I’ll talk in this issue about how you can use your birthday to launch a period of transformation. Of course, you also can use other important dates as triggers for organizational or personal change.

Warmly, Bev

Anniversaries Can Mark
Powerful New Beginnings

April 18, 2006 * Number 36

Anniversary dates can capture our attention, remind us of past triumphs or failures, and shift our moods and perspective.

For many of us, for example, September 11 will never be an ordinary day. Each year we’ll recall not only the awful events but also our own feelings and experiences on 9/11.

For some people, birthdays have an awesome power, serving as reminders that life moves swiftly. For others, birthdays and public holidays may have little meaning. But they’ll never forget certain dates of personal significance, like graduation day or the day they were married.

Anniversary dates may have great power, but we can choose how that power will be used. Some charities, for example, have “taken back 9/11” by scheduling fundraising events on that date, thus broadening its significance to include more that is positive.

If you have a birthday or other anniversary coming up, you can use it as an opportunity to pause, adjust your course and reshape your future. Because anniversaries may inherently inspire reflection, they offer significant openings for change.

Let’s assume that you’re facing a “big” birthday, and are feeling daunted at the thought that another decade has gone by. You can’t do anything to slow the march of time, but you can redefine the symbolic meaning of your big day. You can use your birthday as the launch pad for new action, perhaps even for personal transformation. This change process might help you get started:

Appreciate the good stuff. Take a moment to notice the best parts of the life you already have. Make a list of some of the things that you’re glad to have, like your friends, your sense of humor, your appreciation of good food, or your most important skills.

Look to the future. Describe the person you want to be at a big birthday that follows this one. You might simply list adjectives that describe you and your life, at that time. Or you could write an article about yourself, phrased in third person as though you were describing an important celebrity.

Notice the barriers. Identify obstacles that may stand between where you are today and where you want to go. Be as factual as possible, and resist the urge to overstate your current problems and limitations. After you’ve made the list, put it aside for a day, then take it up again to challenge and reframe any sweeping or unsubstantiated statements like, “I’m too old.”

Plan some preliminary steps. Make a list of small steps that will help you to overcome specific obstacles, or otherwise move you in the direction you want to go. The purpose of this list is to get you started. Your plans will continue to evolve, once you have begun taking those steps.

Succinctly describe your next phase. If you approach your birthday thinking, “I’m over the hill and have nothing to look forward to,” then you may in fact be approaching some unhappy times. But you have the power to choose. Once you’ve articulated your vision for the future, you can redesign parts of your daily life in order to move in that direction. Complete this sentence: “In the next phase of life, I will focus on ____, ____ and _____.” For example, if you want to be thin and physically active on your future target date, your next phase of life will include a focus on fitness.

Celebrate. Whether it’s a big party or a solo retreat, a celebration can help you to capture the full symbolic power of your birthday. Mark the day in a significant way in order to reinforce your own commitment. Consider using the day to embody the attitude that will carry you toward your goals. Declare your intent for the future, and call on others for their support.

Want to Read More About
Transforming Your Life?

Below is a brief book review, as well as links that will allow you to buy the book directly from Amazon.com. For reviews of other helpful books, along with Amazon links, go to: ClearWays Books and Services. If you buy a book this way it will contribute to the cost of distributing Bev’s Tips, and be much appreciated.

Benjamin Zander and Rosamund Stone Zander
The Art of Possibility – Transforming Professional and Personal Life, Penguin Books, 2002.

The Zanders draw on their very different perspectives to create a how-to manual for changing your perspective and “sailing into a vast universe of possibility.”

Ben Zander is an accomplished orchestra conductor, teacher and speaker, and Roz is a family therapist. Together they weave stories and theories to describe a series of “practices” with the potential to change the way you approach your business and your daily life.

One of Ben’s techniques suggests a way to move from an immediate birthday to one that is further in the future. He describes an advanced performance class in which he announced that every student would earn an A. The one requirement was that each student write a letter, dated at the end of the term, beginning with the words, “Dear Mr. Zander, I got an A because...”

Zander’s students wrote from a future perspective, and in the process they were able to envision the kind of performers they needed to become. You might try writing from your future birthday, as way to envision the next phase of your life.

Click here to buy this book.

Want to learn more ways to transform your work life? Bev offers executive coaching and leadership consulting, and is available to speak about a broad range of issues related to your work life. Visit her website at www.ClearWaysConsulting.com or email to Bev directly. Bev is associated with Executive Coaching & Consulting Associates.

Bev’s Tips for a Better Work Life is published on the first and third Tuesday of each month by Beverly E. Jones of ClearWays Consulting, LLC. Bev is a lawyer and former executive who now coaches accomplished CEO's, public afffairs executives, and other professionals to bring new direction, energy and enjoyment to their work lives.

All rights in all media reserved. However, the content of Bev’s Tips for a Better Work Life may be forwarded in full without special permission on the condition that (1) it is for non-profit use and (2) full attribution and copyright notice are given. For other uses please contact Bev Jones.

Our address is: 2925 43rd Street, NW, Washington, DC 20016.