Dear friends and clients,

My brother – the third-generation insurance guy – says that our family motto is “born to go slow.”  We all know in our bones that the worst might indeed happen, and so we plan for all contingencies.

Our cautious, defensive style tends to keep us out of debt and away from danger, and is useful in jobs that require “thinking like a lawyer.”    When prudence turns to pessimism, however, life can become darker, and the utility of a careful approach may be outweighed by the burdens of negative thinking.

 Warm wishes,

Power Success With Optimism
-- Even If You’re a Pessimist

• Catch that thought.  Learn to identify self-defeating thoughts that automatically run through your mind, particularly when you’re feeling down or discouraged.  Simply noticing your negative patterns will help to tame them.

• Argue back.  Once you observe a negative refrain, dispute it, just as you would in conversation with a dear friend who was putting herself down.

• Test the accuracy.  One simple way to dispose of a pessimistic thought is to demonstrate that it’s just not true.  Look to external evidence, then dismiss lines like “I always fail at things like this.”

• Find alternative explanations.  Most situations have many causes, but pessimists tend to cling to the worst possible options.  They may leap to the most permanent and pervasive explanation imaginable, like “I’m just too old to do this.”  Dispute negativity by proposing alternative explanations, like: “Maybe I didn’t prepare enough this time, but I can do better next time.”

• Make lists.  Carry around a small notebook in which to list each negative phrase that plays repeatedly inside your head.  Periodically review the list, and create a new list by reframing each pessimistic thought into a positive statement.  For example, “I’m too fat,” may become “today I will eat consciously” on the new list.  Read the positive list at least daily.

• Appreciate the good stuff.  You can generate a surge of optimism by refocusing your attention on the more positive aspects of any situation.  For example, if you’re frustrated with your career, make a list of the five things you appreciate most about your job, and review the list each morning.

• Resist nay-sayers.  Sometimes that negative dialogue isn’t all in your own head.  Pessimistic people can drain your energy and pull whole groups off track.  Avoid negative people when you can, and try not to let them bring you down when their company is unavoidable.

• Make positive contacts.  Pessimists may isolate themselves when facing difficulties.  When things aren’t going well, resist the urge to curl up in a hole, and look for ways to enjoy even small positive contacts with other people.  If things are troublesome in one sector, like work, find new energy and renewed optimism by structuring interactions in other parts of your life.